


a groovy kind of love

by cloudfactories



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, Angst, Cupids, Eventual Romance, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Romantic Comedy, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Strippers & Strip Clubs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:07:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 35,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21628096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudfactories/pseuds/cloudfactories
Summary: jaemin comes across a little hiccup during his nights as a sex worker. jeno, who claims to be a cupid, offers to help him throughout his tangles but with a condition.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 19
Kudos: 101
Collections: ’00 FIC FEST: ROUND ONE





	1. this one makes up for the city

**Author's Note:**

> ➼ for real, i can't even write a proper summary but this is the most plain one i could muster after months of deliberating on it. however, i assure you the story is much more than the mundane sentences flaunt.  
> ➼mentions of sexual activities (is not unraveled much than implications of intercourse, oral sex and sexual kinks), adult language and humor.

“What’s up, _sex god_?” Renjun cheered, as he saw Jaemin sulk his way through the entrance. Upon seeing Jaemin’s expression, Renjun’s eyebrows sagged,determined that something ominous was to be announced.

“Sex peasant, you mean.” Jaemin grumbled, as he pointed out to Renjun’s thermos for a slight sip to calm his hoarse throat. All the shouting he did and there was no avail. He didn’t expect it, whatsoever. “I asked _Miss_ to give me my pay for last month and she said she didn’t have the money for it. Can you believe it?”

“Is she spending it all on the strip shows again?” Jaemin shrugged, tilting the thermos to take a mouthful of the bitter coffee gurgling inside. 

“Even when I said she is not going to profit from that. I mean yeah, large customers, small pay but the accumulation of the predicted sum is not going to be reached anyway.”

“Oh, being her favourite as you are, I am not going to worry about your check anytime soon.”Renjun chuckled, “You seem hell lot raged than I expected.”

“Firstly, she is not listening. 60 years of experience and all she thinks about is getting fucked, and wasting money. Secondly, it is not about me, it is about you and the other employees too. What about the supplies, huh? We can’t please customers without adequate supplies.”

“Yeah, I mean the Windows XP isn’t going anywhere. I need a new computer, new software, and a decent chair. That hard one has been aching my butt for days.” Renjun winced, catching Jaemin’s worried stare through his curtain of brown locks. On the other hand, Renjun realized he needed a haircut too.

“I am going to give you one of the advanced swiveling chairs. The ones youngsters use.” Jaemin heaved, handing the thermos back Renjun’s hand.

“All I am saying is that, do what you are doing. Don’t worry about the pay. Give it a little bit over 10 years, then we can worry about going bankrupt.”

“I guess so. So who is up first?” Renjun ran towards his stall and flickered through the register.

“30 years of age. No particular kink but said she is fond of being treated like some royalty.”

“Do I have to dress up?”

“No, casual is fine. I think she is just looking for a break. Paid a lot more than asked though.” Renjun piped in, clicking through some windows in his computer screen, “Booked you for 12 sharp. There is a note that you can’t be late.”

“Okay. Fine. It’s been a while since I had anything normal.” Jaemin scratched the bruise on his collarbones, before asking, “Are there any guys tonight?”

“I thought you said you didn’t prefer guys. I rejected the 20 offers you got.” Renjun asked confusedly, before scribbling his signature on the register. He slid the notebook towards Jaemin, so that he could sign too.

“Good job. It was a trick question.” He twirled the pen in between his fingers, before pressing the tip against the paper and scribbled through, “Last time, Donghyuck was so nervous he booked three guys right one after another, when I can’t even do one. Good thing, Donghyuck was cute so I let him off the hook.”

“What if I did the same mistake?” Renjun asked, piling the register on top of another and coloured the schedule, covering the empty slot.

“Huh, trick question.” Jaemin tapped his chin, thoughtfully “You wouldn’t.

\---

The woman had a godly figure, tall and curvaceous. Blonde hair danced on her voluminous breasts, as her red lingerie peeked out from the loose white shirt she was wearing. She had the plump lips of the magazine pornstars (but the latter usually had fillings of some sort injected in their lips but the ones the client had looked genuine), the protruding veins on her neck looked like streams embarking from her bony collarbones. Jaemin wanted to card his bites on her porcelain skin, marking them in a hue of black and blue. It was a surprise really, how Jaemin was anticipating the intercourse (in all due respect, casual hook-up), because in his defense it had been a while he had seen a salmon in a pond full of fish. Assuming, salmon is the most expensive and the most enthralling one.

Jaemin deemed the woman was all his fantasies bottled in one, and there was no way he wouldn’t be having fun. However, his thoughts ran short as the phone buzzed inside his oddly tight, skinny pants which had the telltale of his erection exhibited bizarrely. Jaemin planted his finger tip on air, pausing the woman to advance further on his lap. He lunged forward from the upholsterer, and fished his pocket for the phone (which barely held the phone inside), to press the call to his ear cartilage.

Jaemin quickly excused himself outside, with a wince of apology directed towards the woman sprawled on the middle of the bed. His penis was throbbing inside his zipper, and his no-good boss had no time but to call then.

“Yes?”

With the high-pitched voice, that his boss had, she had made his worst imagination to an awful reality. His heart dropped level below, as his breath hitched mid-way to his throat with his eyes wandering in circles.

“What do you mean I’m not going to be paid?” Jaemin screeched, voice coated in rage as his fist curled in impatience.

“Well, the clients…”The unbelievable woman continued to blabber excuses, as to why she had a deficit of the money but all Jaemin heard was, “I have no money to give you. You are going to die in famine, in a small apartment hugging your cats.” _Jaemin didn’t even like cats._

“Alright. I have a client, so…”Then, Jaemin hung up with a grave sigh escaping his lips. That, undeniably dampened the mood as his dick went sadly limp, and his pants didn’t feel tight anymore. When he turned the knob to the left, he felt a small bolt of electricity pass through his veins, and he deemed it was because of the static building up at the roughness of the carpet. Jaemin shrugged before taking a sharp inhale, as he strung words together to find the most coherent and respectful way of turning down a customer.

The door gaped open to reveal his client, already half-way naked except a patch of clothing covering her breasts (although barely) and her string of an underwear loose around her hips. Jaemin gulped, because he wasn’t sure that he wanted to turn down the offer but the poking memory of his boss, suffering at her mid-life crisis bought Jaemin down back to Earth.

“Okay, I’m not sure…if…”Jaemin cleared his throat, dipping the bed at the edge, as he shifted his way across the bed, to fetch his shirt.

“If you are going to play it safe…” The girl pouted, the reek of vodka clouding the side of Jaemin’s face, “I know you want to spank me, daddy!” she added seductively on the top of her head-voice.

“Okay, slow down.” Jaemin raised his hands with a chuckle, bunching his shirt on the top of his crotch to hide his evident hard-on, “I’m not ready today. I think you should go home.”

“I’ll repay you more than what you paid so it will be very kind of you if you could see yourself out.” Jaemin said benevolently, kind of mocking the salesperson you often see when they can’t exchange the clothes you already bought. The situation was annoying alone, but add a hot-headed, sexy and drunk cougar, you couldn’t even imagine the hell Jaemin drew himself on to.

His dick, to his consciousness, went a bit more loose than earlier, hanging lazily down south. He wasn’t sure if it was possible for his male genitalia to act like that, suddenly.

“I’m not going anywhere, mister!” The woman raged, huffing under her breath as she tried to yank Jaemin’s tight pants off. Only then, Jaemin had admitted(secretly), the pants weren’t as disadvantageous as they looked. The pants stuck to his legs like a second-skin, and the sharpened nails of hers couldn’t get through all the leather layered.

However, Jaemin had to wrench himself from the cage of the woman’s whipping arms, and managed to call Renjun from the reception to carry the sex ebullient woman out of the room. Jaemin had beaucoup of experiences like that to understand and plan ahead, so it didn’t pile any trouble.

“Oh…” The woman said eerily as he was pulled by two security guards through the door, “I’m going to get you bastard!” It wasn’t anything Jaemin hadn’t heard before, so he waved the lady off with a flick of his hand. He was sure one of the security guards had it lucky that night, with the way they were ogling her boobs like it was their last meal.

_Jaemin hadn’t realized how pernicious it was to turn down a lady like that. Yet._

Well, the ordeal turned out to be a lot more incendiary than Jaemin had imagined. The other co-workers, were buzzing with gossip how he had turned down a gold mine, and he had an uncountable number of sighs from Renjun that Jaemin couldn’t help but knit his brows in utter confusion. It wasn’t not like he hadn’t turned down a customer like that before, nor it was his fault that he had to.

It was purely his boss’ fault, and she should have her coffee snatched. Not Jaemin.

“Well, we are short of a day’s worth of money.” Renjun rolled his eyes, closing the register shut, “Only because you weren’t feeling it last night. She was fucking gold.” he gibed with a snark comment, he rested his head on to his palm before dazing off.

“Oh honey,” Jaemin cooed softly, placing the coffee cup on the desk, “Listen, I think I’m going to double my customers for tonight.”

“As if. You are being very propitious about today, like you didn’t reject the single work you had yesterday. I even cleared the whole night for you because you had an interview this morning.”

“Thanks for asking how my interview went this morning.” Jaemin slanted his posture, resting his hips on one corner of the table, “I didn’t take the job.” _More like he failed the job._

Yes, that morning he was called for an interview at a Chinese restaurant down the street, to work as a part-time waiter. But, as fate had called it, he was kicked out out of the interview because of his full-time job (being a prostitute, as they said it) and they couldn’t let him taint the reputation. In other words, they wouldn’t let their customers be served by a dirty hand.

Jaemin had expected it, with all his earlier failures surging into his memory, like a curse.

However, he never felt ashamed of his work, even though it didn’t anchor much reputation in the outside world. Also, the fact that he didn’t have a girlfriend or boyfriend (because all they did is spill the coffee on his face after he reveals his work) nor any friends to talk to (except Renjun, but he was a co-worker).

“Why?” Then, it only seemed Renjun was fuming with irritation with a clear intention reflecting in his eyes that he wanted to stab Jaemin then.

“I just didn’t like it. I like working here even if it gives a handful of pennies.” Jaemin said, sipping his coffee carelessly.

“Says the person who rejected a customer because his boss wouldn’t pay for the next month.”

Jaemin cooed and muttered a ‘thanks’ while patting Renjun’s shoulder.

\---

“You have one at 5. One at 6.” Renjun hummed. Jaemin was about to twirl back on his feet to the changing room, before Renjun piped in again once more, “Another at 7. Do you want to take one more?”

“Yeah, take her in.” Jaemin shook his shoulders, nonchalantly. When he was about to step forward, with his neck craning back to watch Renjun clog another one of his slot with a client, he didn’t notice the huge puddle of water on the tiles. Of course, in a matter of seconds, his butt met the floor with an audible thud, and a loud yelp echoed through the corridors.

The ache went as shivers to his spine, as his toes squirmed involuntarily on the other end. It was painful, and he squeezed his eyes shut at the stinging realization of that. Some droplets of his own coffee drenched his designer shirt, as he groaned in irksomeness rolling his eyes to the back of his head.

Jaemin shot a glare towards Renjun who was snickering behind him, muffling it with the back of his hand.

“Can you do it? I think you twisted your ankle.” Renjun said, feigning to worry as some chuckles still accompanied his words. Jaemin grunted, as Renjun picked him up from the floor, gripping on his shoulders tight.

“If I take a rest today, I would never hear enough of all your taunts. So, just…”He took a deep breath, as the throbbing pain in his ankle didn’t seem to reside, “take me to the dressing room.”

“And help you wear your costume?”

“Shut up.” Jaemin hopped with his right leg, as the left was lifted mid-air, “On second thought, I do think you need to dress me up.”

“Okay, now giddy up!” Renjun went ahead of Jaemin, and buckled his knees for the latter to climb over his back. Jaemin rolled his eyes, hooping his arms around Renjun’s neck nevertheless as Renjun straightened his posture, slightly limping towards the dressing room. Jaemin slowly tucked his chin on the crown of Renjun’s head, mumbling a ‘thank you’ in to his tousled brown locks.

Jaemin was swiftly dressed in an immaculate shirt, with an excellent choice of dress pants compared to the prior day’s inexcusable choice of tight skin pants. Of course, as usual, he had no underwear under his pants, causing his male genitalia to breathe in the air. It was convenient, as some of the customers were like animals pouncing on him as soon as they entered the room, so the clothing could be easily removed with less yanking on both of their parts.

In short, they needed solely sex (and his dick) so the decent act of wearing his underwear were in any way totally useless.

“Okay, so…”Renjun popped his head through the small gap of the door, “Do you need help in whipping out your dick?”

Jaemin shifted on the bed, stretching his legs wide to the end before throwing a deadpan look to the latter. “No, Renjun. I still have my hands!” Jaemin bloomed his fingers into a full palm, showing it off to the latter.

“Okay, I’m still going to tell the client to help themselves at top. If you are exhausting that red bump on your ankle, I’m sure you can’t even have sex next week. Take it easy, fine?” Renjun tone was strict, enough for Jaemin to groan back a stubborn “fine”. He knew if he cared to shoot an insensitive reply he would get harangued for months.

For whatever the reason, Renjun nagged at him more than his parents ever did.

Jaemin had couple of minutes left until the next customer arrived, so he deemed it would be better if he could ready himself. He zipped his pants open, gingerly taking out his soft dick out. Without further ado, he thought of all the lewdness he could muster, for example, nude beach, vibrators, women with red lingerie and two zebras humping each other.

To his dismay, his dick wasn’t even half-hard and his blood was seemingly still in place. So he twisted his wrist over his dick, massaging it vertically to emit some reaction on to his, evident dead veins. He was thrusting his fist upwards, taking in a deep breath however it didn’t garner any attention from his wilted genitalia..

Perhaps, Jaemin wasn’t doing it right. He might have been turning himself off, with all the worries that he was carrying on his shoulders, and the bruise on his ankle was not the prettiest sight to look at. So, without choice, he accosted on bringing in the worst of all his imagination, the chimerical circumstances he wished to participate; orgy in a hospital.

Jaemin had a bizarre obsession with hospitals, the typical doctors with their tools and clipboards, their lab coats (not nurses, mind you). However, his dispirited genital was as soft as ever and it wouldn't even wake up to how much spit he had coated his palms or how to how much disgust his imagination had escalated to.

“Hey, what’s up with your dick?” The client scrunched his face, poking his penis, sadly resting on his thigh.

“Nothing a blowjob can’t suffice!” Jaemin nervously chuckled, leading the girl to engulf his penis into her warm cavern. He choked back a moan, as the girl worked up tongue on the tip of his penis. However, through all those sexual ministrations, his dick wouldn’t even stand up.

So, through the four meetings he had, his skin was covered with the wine the girls had angrily spilled on him. Well, it was not all that detrimental because at least he smelled of rich wine. But, for Renjun and all the staff in that brothel, their money was barreling out of the exit dangerously and of course, all of it was Jaemin’s fault.

“Well, it’s not like I can do much about it.” Jaemin strained, still patting his soft penis, then put it into custody of a proper undergarment.

“The girls were all over me yesterday, complaining about how you can’t get a stick up their ass.” Renjun said, although plainly, piling the registers on top of each other. Jaemin lead an air escape off his lips, pulling on his hair strands frustratingly.

“I thought they liked talking to me. You know, the type of shrink-”

“Oh no…” Renjun then looked up from one of the papers he thudded against the table, coding it with sticky bookmarks, “They want a hard dick. Their 40 year old business tyrants can’t muster one. Now you can’t too.”

Jaemin tilted one of the corners of his lips, trying to concatenate the right words to utter. It was visible how Renjun was all out of sorts that day, with how his fingers were fumbling with the colors of the sticky notes, taping the green ones instead of red in all the wrong places.

“Getting hard isn’t rocket science, you know?” Renjun said, letting a paper or two slip from his hands. He let out a grunt, but Jaemin bent down, pausing Renjun with a hand and proceeded to pick up the papers from the floor.

“You know what…”Jaemin craned his neck to look at Renjun, “I will lend you all of my porn stash. You are our most popular one, and I can’t lose you to some erectile dysfunction shit.”

Jaemin rolled his eyes, and stood up from the floor, straightening his knees. He lend the papers back to Renjun, reflecting a small smile playing on his lips. “Don’t frustrate yourself about a small rut. It is my dick, not yours so don’t worry.”

“You know I can give you a blowjob.” Renjun offered, but a flutter of Jaemin’s hands slumped his shoulders down. “Last time, you were about to give me one, ‘ _platonic blowjob’,_ your wife kicked my ass.”

“She is a fighter!” Renjun laughed, and patted Jaemin’s shoulders, “I think you need to see a doctor. Like for your dick.” He inclined his eyes towards Jamein’s crotch, to which Jaemin covered it almost frantically.

“Don’t say that!” Jaemin harshly whispered back. He then bent his neck to look at his crotch, “Don’t worry, little one. I’m not going to do anything to you.”

“I think you really need to see a doctor.” Renjun slipped his hands off from his shoulders, and returned to sorting the papers. Jaemin knew almost a certain sentence that could tick Renjun off from his roll that day,

“Your sticky bookmarks are green.” Jaemin repeated again in bold, “Green.”

Jaemin earned a good laugh, seeing Renjun cry over all the misplaced documents. However, that didn’t particularly stop Renjun from whipping up his middle finger at Jaemin while he was leaving the brothel in dim red lights.

Jaemin’s shift, unmistakably, ended earlier than he had expected. The fanny pack was wounded around his waist, and it carried all sorts of condoms and lubes he had bought earlier week. All were unused ( _of course_ ), and that made Jaemin sulk inwardly at his sudden inability. It made him feel old, and he felt it was prescient that a horrible hurdle was just waiting for him on the road from him to trip over.

The wee hours at dawn felt awfully different, and it made him shudder in dread. He wasn’t sure if it was because of all the puerile imaginations he was making, or the cold breeze that was whirring around him. He thought if it was the wine he drenched in, managed to sip through his skin and to his blood stream and managed to get him drunk.

But the blurry figure on the tip of the road, was hauntingly coming towards him, with long strides. Jaemin wanted to run, but he was huddled in Renjun’s coat, his teeth cluttering against each other. Jaemin squeezed his eyelids, muttering chants in the name of God.

“Hey.” A shake to his shoulder, jerked Jaemin awake from the inimical dream in perspiration. He met Renjun’s knitted eyebrows, and looked back at him inexplicably.

“What am I doing here?” Jaemin groggily asked, as he found himself tucked in the brothel’s blankets, surrounded by the room he previously used for his meetings.

“You slept here, remember?” Renjun sighed, yanking the blanket from his body. Jaemin was still wearing Renjun’s coat, and the fanny pack was still attached to his waist, although a little lower down.

“What is the use of wearing a blanket if you are going to sleep in my coat anyway?” Renjun was then opening the drawers hastily as if searching for something, “By the way, do you remember the card that sick bastard left?”

“You mean Kim?” Jaemin lunged backwards, his weight anchored with the balls of the palms, and rested against the upholsterer. He ate a yawn with the back of his palm and looked at Renjun bent in front of the table side drawer, his sight unfocused.

“Yeah, that licentious bastard.”Renjun grumbled, hatred coating his every word. Kim, was one of Jaemin’s regulars, but a nefarious human being to Renjun. And to Jaemin too.

“Oh yeah…”Renjun gave up ransacking the drawers and left them be sprawled on the floor, “A client will have a meeting with you at 7.”

“What? Why?” Jaemin was supposedly on a vacation then, since he had lost the most important thing he was bound to have. Yes, he wasn’t on his way to Maldives or anything, but still a vacation was a vacation even none of them confirmed on having so.

Renjun completely ignored Jaemin and continued, “He is 27, agreed to pay a heft of bucks. He said he isn’t looking forward to any sex but he just wants to talk to you about something.”

Jaemin shrugged, tugging the blanket up to cover his legs. “The last time I had a man…funny story…”he let out a depressed laugh, “he was sticking these stuff up my ass and the next day I couldn’t even walk. I told you how much I hate men clogging up my schedule.”

“Kim.” Renjun muttered, with a knot of anger on his tone. Renjun proceeded to sit on the edge of the bed, and patted Jaemin’s thigh, “Listen… this client just wants to talk to you. If it gets heated, I am going to get my wedding playlist and he will get off you right then. It is a great technique of getting your soldier all withered.”

“Yeah.”

“I still think that you should go see a doctor. The lack of a penis is very concerning for a manly man even though you are not supposedly having sex.” Renjun settled comfortably, with his legs criss crossed on the bed. Jaemin rose his hands above his head, stretching his knots on his elbows.

“No.” Jaemin said in between the cracks of his knuckles, “the lack of using your penis is concerning. When did you last have sex?”

“I am married.”

“Exactly.” Shooting a finger gun at Renjun, Jaemin plopped off the bed and walks over to the table to grasp the water bottle.

“I had sex…last night, you know. My wife has the sex drive of a rabbit.”

\---

“Okay…”Jaemin was done slipping into a coffee hued cardigan, a hole that was torn on his back, “the poor guy is here.”

Renjun was about to shut the door but halted as Jaemin questioned, “poor guy?” The door reopened and Renjun walked in, grunting at the torn sweater.

“Oh, sorry, It tore when I ripped it off the hangers.”

“Whatever.” Renjun flicked a strand of his bangs from his eyelids, “so yeah, the client was a bit surprising. He was godly, you know buff muscles and what not. But he had a squeak of a mouse and was surprisingly very nervous. His first time, maybe.”

“And?” Jaemin fixed the rolling hem of the sweater but on further thought, tucked it inside his jeans.

“He, kind of, makes you wish you were gay.”

And, holy shit, was Renjun right. Well, Jaemin was very obdurate to his own sexuality, which was really a sensitive situation due to beaucoup amount of sexual encounters. Jaemin, had a basket full of luck, to score both male and female in his 27 years of life. For then, it was pretty sealed that he preferred the female gender over men.

But as his next client entered the room, Jaemin seemed to had all his preference eaten up.

With a fluff of blond hair brushed upwards, a hint of undercut under his tousled mess contrasted with his glittery skin of awe. Pale, porcelain skin of perfection. As Jaemin had his eyes trail downwards to his features, his eyebrows malevolently sharp, his eyes of chromatic hued orbs with his eye rims lined in soft kohl. Jaemin had an inveterate of licking his lips if he came across something attractive, and by then he was assured his lips were drenching in all his saliva. The client looked across the room, but Jaemin didn’t avert his eyes from that sculptured nose or that feline lips dancing on his visage so casually.

See, Jaemin was a narcissist, in simple words. He liked what he saw in his mirror, and he liked what his clients often said about him during sex. However, he didn’t quite exactly hate when that client entered the room to gobble up his ego in a second and was about to make him believe there were more heavenly people existing in the whole world other than him.

“Hey.” He spoke into the heavy air, and Jaemin forgot to breath. Jaemin quickly hooked his finger onto his sweater to ventilate some air in. The man in the pink satin shirt, and dress pants with a similar pink suit was formidable, but his voice… _godly._

“Hi.” Jaemin was the one who had squeak of a mouse, not that hotshot of a client. Jaemin must had finally hit a bloody gold mine, because despite the events of the last day, he was blessed with a living painting made by the Romans. It would be very disappointing, if he couldn’t whisk a hard rod that day.

It wasn’t about sex, but he would like to at least have a peek of what was underneath.

“I wanted to talk to you about last Thursday.” Jaemin breathing came to cessation but he managed to reciprocate with a “Yes.”

“Well, the client you had last Thursday, the beautiful woman with the blond hair. I am very sorry about the inconvenience she caused. She was my responsibility and I let her go.”

Jaemin was afraid if that handsome man turned out to be the husband of that persistent cougar.

“Oh you mean that cougar?”

“Don’t talk like that about my queen.” The client sternly warned, walking towards him causing Jaemin to stumble back a few steps, “Mind your language.”

“Um…are you into role playing? Is this what this is all about?” Jaemin pointed the personal space his client had stepped on to, so he backed up a few steps, muttering an apology.

“No. I am here to say…that I am willing to take responsibility for breaking the curse she had trapped you in.”

“A curse?” Jaemin guffawed, “What curse?”

“Well, the fact that your male genital is unable to get erect unless or until you ask for my queen’s apology.” Jaemin was seriously holding his stomach, with an urge to erupt in laughter. For a man curved by the God’s own hands, he was seriously missing a few screws of his sanity. But a guy couldn’t have it all, right?

“It will be a lot easier if you tell me that you are trying to get in my pants. I had clients like you, who would pay a lot, excuse to talk and mutter all sorts of donkey shit and get in bed with me.” No, Jaemin had neither of the options above in all his years of profession.

“Believe me, I am a cupid.”

“No.” Jaemin was adamant because he didn’t have all the time in the world to listen to nonsense, “You are a person who might look a cupid but you are not a cupid.”

“Okay, fine.” The client let out a grave breath.

“See?” Jaemin said, although mockingly, because no matter what he couldn’t’ get hard. Even though he was already hooking his fingers around the upper hem of his pants, and Jaemin was only pretending to submit, because no where in hell he was letting a mad person get into his pants.

First, that smoking hot male was a male. Second, he lied. Third, he couldn’t have sex anyway.

“Okay, get me that condom box.” His client pointed to the large box of 100 condoms he bought for a sale the other day. It was the jumbo size, the box was and Jaemin was partly glad he bought them for $6. Jaemin walked up to the wall, tripping over a trinket that was lying on the floor, but he grasped the box into his hands before shaking it into the air, looking at his client questionably.

“Oh wait…”Jaemin chuckled, rummaging for a single condom from the filled up box, “You are back on track!” He was about to tear one piece of condom off but was halted mid-way with an incline of the client’s head. Jaemin placed the condom box at the floor, where the client had signaled and stepped away, heeding to the rough nods of the latter’s head.

Jaemin had sneaked a few knocks on the walls, when he sauntered over to the side.

_Oh my god…I might be dealing with some mental asylum shit._

Jaemin wanted to call Renjun, his calls was just a step away. His eyes were fixed on his client, who was indeed squinting his eyes, focusing on that box like a hoard of gold. The next moment, Jaemin was sure he had blinked several times, only to notice the box flying off in the air with the shower of condoms over their heads.

Jaemin didn’t drink last night, not even that morning, and he wasn’t sure if excessive shots of espresso would get you to hallucinate condoms galloping in thin air. His client looked weirdly lax, the box moving in the direction wherever his eyes shifted. Jaemin watched it in awe, with drool dripping down the corner of his lips, while his eyes wandered pointlessly.

_Jaemin was probably dealing with his own mental asylum shit._

His client looked way too proud over messing up the room, as he stood there, chest uplifted and a taut tilt of his lips on his visage. It made Jaemin fume in annoyance, as he huffed under his breath.

“Did you set this…”he circled his hand around the condoms lying helplessly on floor (in short his $6 getting cruelly stepped on), “up? Like with a string up or something?”

“Do you think there was a string?” The blond taking his posture up with a swipe of his eyes, and Jaemin swore his lips tilted to a quick sharpness.

“Alright. Do something else.” Jaemin prodded, with a click of his fingers.

“Okay.” The client shrugged, “How about this?”

The godly man was then staring at his crotch, still squinting his eyes to slits and well, licking his lips in concentration. If that was any other night, Jaemin would brush him off as someone who was into wild kinky adventures, that would keep him up all night. Well, the act was tipping over the bizarre level , and Jaemin worried if that client continued causing any more maddened acts, it would keep him up all night.

“What are you-” Jaemin’s eyes enlarged in jolted surprise, of his pants zipper coming down by itself, revealing a peek of his pink underwear, “H-hey…stop.” Jaemin could feel his heart palpating inside, in sheer embarrassment as if he hadn’t been naked in front of a male before. He was partly glad, he had worn his underwear that day.

_Stop! You stupid shithead!_

Jaemin could feel lips burning under the grip of his teeth, as the client zipped it back up. Of course, with sleight of his hand, and drawing the chain close with an invisible force.

“Okay.” The client sighed, reclining backwards, “You could have left the stupid shit part, but I think my work of proving myself is done. Now do you suppose there was a string attached to your zipper?”

“How did you do that-” Jaemin patted his pants, double checking if the zipper was secure “Pervert?”

“A real cupid with a cupidity for powers.” His client grinned from one to another, resembling the Cheshire from Alice. “You look…”Jaemin looked ablaze with red across his face, hinting he was embarrassed. He quickly gathered his demeanor, fixing his slumped posture and rested aside against the walls.

**_♫ When I'm feeling blue, all I have to do_ **

**_Is take a look at you, then I'm not so blue ♫_ **

“What the hell is this rotten hymn?” His client screeched, and Jaemin sighed thinking Renjun had finally put on the wedding mix. Earlier, when Renjun said if Jaemin would knock on the wall two times, he would take it as a cue to put the music on, understanding that the client was probably tipping over the limits.

It wasn’t supposedly the best of times, with Jaemin left in his underwear, and the music lulling his penis to sleep and the client wandering over his room, unable to comprehend the cheesy lyrics blowing through the speakers. It was quite impressive how quickly his penis sulked back into his underwear, so Jaemin padded over to the other side, pulling on his pants.

“Don’t worry, it is just my colleague listening to some tunes.” Jaemin then feigned to holler over to the other side, “Renjun, could you switch it off?” _Don_ _’_ _t switch it off. For all I know, Phil Collins could only save me from this epitome of a nightmare standing in front._

_Even if it was a dream (nightmare), I should make the best out of it._

“So, I have a proposition to make to help you solve that midget curse of yours.” His client said over the smooth pitch of Collins’, clearing his throat as he finished his sentence. Jaemin sat on the bed, and patted the empty space beside him for the latter to sit.

“My queen says, for the disrespect you have shown her has hurt her integrity so she shall punish you with a soft-end lasting for a week or so-”

“Why do you talk like that?” Jaemin questioned, intertwining his fingers on his lap, “Can’t you talk normally?”

“Okay.” The client nodded, “Shit head.”

“Much better. Continue?”

“Partly, it’s my fault for letting her go astray. She did disturb you with her drunken antics and I know it well.” _No, she didn’t really get drunk. I rejected her,_ _“_ Trynot to think. I can listen to all the words you are saying to yourself.” His client knocked his own head with the tip of his fingers, his lips carrying a smirk.

Jaemin shook his shoulders nonchalantly, gnawing his lower lips to his chagrin,

“So I am here to help you, rub off his curse.”

“How? By riding my dick?” Jaemin shifted comfortably and dips deeper into the bed.

“I wish it was that easy. There are some formalities, you know?”

“So tell what is it that you want. Do I have to blow your dick or you have to blow mine? I mean my dick is half-dead for whatever nonsensical curse you have ‘cast’ on me.” Jaemin rolled his eyes to the back of his head, and relaxed his fingers, “But, I am straight. Kind of.”

“Okay…”His client mumbled, “Got that out of the way. But I need you to work with me. See, being a cupid means that we have to get people together. People who are supposed to be together. That will convince my queen enough to get you off the prohibition.”

“That sounds fun.” No, it didn’t. Jaemin was only convincing himself that it did.

“Also, you will have to apologize to my queen for what you did.”

“That doesn't sound fun.” That time, Jaemin was telling the truth.

The Phil Collins songs slowly graduated to the theme of Dirty Dancing. The main singers singing about how they were having the time of their life, when ironically Jaemin was barely trudging through his own. That was when Jaemin remembered, he didn’t even ask for his client’s name.

His client was halfway through the room, his pink suit slowly disappearing through the door only to leave a peek. Jaemin charged himself towards, again tripping over the small trinket, only to catch the door to open it wide.

“What is your name? Is it something Greek or Roman because I am really bad with-” Jaemin panted, choking with the air he took in.

“It’s Jeno.” His client didn’t look back but Jaemin was glad he didn’t. He didn't want him to see how a flick of his hand, or a flutter of his eyelids or just another word bubbling from his mouth was making him so vulnerable. It made his stomach churn, as the coffee he drank that morning was eating the skin of his innards away and he deemed it was because of Jeno’s shit head powers and what not.

“That sounds Greek enough.”

\---

The next day, Jaemin had already brushed the incident as a fever dream. Since, Renjun had finally granted him permission to leave for his apartment, he had been moping around the living room, devouring snacks and half of the time reviving his penis. Latter didn’t work out so well, so he thought that if the previous day wasn’t a dream, then how that handsome creature of a man could make him feel wobbly inside? Jaemin then again, knocked his head with that remote, and told himself to get in lane to his sanity. The television blared in the background, and the azure evening sky dawned to the gray clouds of a stormy night while Jaemin delved into one, another two horror movies successively.

Renjun’s porn collection stayed forgotten under the pile of sex toys hidden deep in Jaemin’s cupboard, and he didn’t bother taking them out. His hands always maneuvered himself to reach for his half-knitted sweater, and continued to work with the crochets until he deemed it was decent enough scarf to wrap his neck.

The apartment he lurked in, didn’t belong to him. At least, not legally but in a way lent to him. A client of his, with a sack full of money behind his shoulders, had offered him to stay there as long as he wanted to. There were no conditions or deadlines to meet, so Jaemin could stay there carelessly.

Jaemin, without contemplating, took the offer because why let go of a superb chance when its just laid in front of you?

It was also what Jaemin had unnecessarily thought when he opened the door to reveal the man from yesterday. Perhaps, he could let him knit the sweater with his magic hands or whatever the hell he had.

“Jeno.” Jaemin’s crest fell, with a breath he had been holding. His eyes met the dark one of Jeno’s, trailing down to his flawless skin, to the outfit which stuck to his curves and corners beautifully. Then again, a navy suit hanging over his raven hued shirt inside with long dress pants, with made his legs looks toned and long.

Jaemin didn’t mean to stare any longer so he shifted it to the crochets held in his own hands.

“Knitting like old women, huh?”

That hit a nerve so Jaemin looked up to meet Jeno’s face with a deadpan stare. Jeno held up his hands defensively, holding back a chuckle. The slight edge of Jeno’s lips tipped up, and Jaemin could feel his tongue tied into a knot, stringing words inside his head to make into a coherent sentence.

Jaemin believed he was more or less floating in his horribly stretched, realistic dream with the blessing of a cupid standing in his porch, in all golden glory. Because he was, in all sense, _in a dream._

**__ **

“Come inside?” However, Jeno turned it down with a wave of his hand, and a subtle shyness dancing on his lips. Jaemin feigned not to notice it.

“I don’t want to waste more time, okay?” Jeno scratched his eyebrows, “Let’s just go.”

“Yeah, I’ll just keep these.” He lifted his crochets up, “And change.”

“Just keep your crochets and come. You are fine like this.”

Jaemin threw his crochets on the porch, and quickly grabbed a lavender suit from his closet, wearing it over his white shirt. The pants looked mismatched, in a greenish colour contrasting the purple highlights of his suits, but he could care less.

Jaemin came back to find Jeno scratching on his door jamb before looking up, breaking into a grin.

“I thought I told you not to dress up. You look like a clown in a country fair.”

“I thought we were getting late so let’s go.” Jaemin pushed against Jeno shoulders, finding his way through the corridor. He quickly pushed the lift buttons, tapping his boots against the carpet as he waited for the lift to come up and Jeno to return by his side.

“Clown.” Jeno stood beside him, looking up as the lift ascended, and the numbers on the screen increasing. Jaemin peeped a glance, and he could see the wide smile he had missed earlier.

\---

“Don’t you have work today?” Jeno closed the car door, and strapped the belts over his chest and locked it in. Jaemin was secured in own leather seat, which felt more like an expensive couch. The car muted the space in between them, leaving a stagnant breath of cigarettes, and Jaemin felt smothered by the occasional glances from his right.

“I-I took a break, “Jaemin stated as Jeno quickly pushed the start button, the engine rumbling underneath his legs, “permitted and off for a couple of days.”

“Well, that-” Jeno shifted his eyes back to the back seat, as if checking something, “sounds convenient.”

Jeno pushed down the accelerators, pulling the car by a harsh tug. Jaemin was pushed back against his seat, delving into the warmth of the expensive leather. As Jeno’s attention was pulled by the steering wheel, Jaemin took a peek of himself in the rearview mirror and Jeno was staring right at him. Jaemin coughed awkwardly and looked outside the window, to stare at the blobs of other cars running by.

The car anchored a treasure box full of gold, and Jaemin was sure of it. The slick crimson coating the car in its worthy glittering shine, described millions worth of money whooshing through the streets under the golden limelight. Jaemin still couldn’t find the knot stuck in his throat, to untie and relax.

Jeno reached the stereo with his other hand to turn the volume knob to ebb away the awkwardness, however a grunt from Jaemin stopped him from doing so.

“Whatever you say.” Jeno caught the steering wheel again, eyes stuck on the road, “Shithead.”

“We are not that casual…” Jaemin said, with a tinge of offence.

“You are the one who told me to not talk like the way I do, so I am just adopting your way.”

Jaemin folded his arms across his chest, laughing dryly.

“Do I really talk like that?” Jaemin craned his neck to look at Jeno, “I don’t talk like that.”

“You are not the one listening to yourself babbling, with the word ‘shit’ ending every sentence.”

“True.” Jaemin nodded, as his eyes stretched to the heft of cars maneuvering their way to the other side. He realized he didn’t know where he was going exactly.

“Where are we going anyway?”

“Oh there is a bar at 10 leven,” Jeno steered the wheels with expertise, “Have you ever been there?”

Jaemin hummed, trying to reel in the memory when he once went there with Mr.Kim, “Yeah, once. With one of my clients.”

“Oh.” Jeno shook his head, “Cool.”

There was a small silence observed, before Jaemin sharply inhaled the chill air of the air conditioner inside.

“Is this a new car?”

“Would you rather I take you in a pumpkin, Cinderella?” Jeno said, as he focused on speeding his car, and steer on the lane on the other side.

“I only asked if this was a new car, shithead.” Rolling his eyes, he watched Jeno tangling his arms, holding the steering wheel to the utmost right.

“Well, I am trying to take on the fast lane…so if you could stay silent for a minute, would appreciate it.”

\---

The car slammed shut behind Jaemin as he inched forward, on the empty parking lot. Jeno followed, emerging slowly from the car before he rummaged the car for anything he had left, and wiped his steering wheel off his palm perspiration. Jaemin peered, judging, how Jeno straightened his suit, fixing the crinkles flat and patting the dust from the material. How he ruffled his bangs, and combed through his buzzed undercut and all those ministrations, from which Jaemin couldn’t turn his eyes away from.

“I wonder…”Jaemin’s eyes still wandering on Jeno’s profile, trailing down the edges of his defined jaw, “If some hobos could break into your car?”

“They can’t.” Jeno shrugged, with a casual smirk, “Plus, I have it under control. I am a supernatural entity after all.”

“Oh my god…” Jaemin shut his eyes, “I can’t believe I took your shitty ass shenanigans for real.”

“Yeah…Let’s go, champ! Long night ahead of us.” Jeno threw his arms over Jaemin’s shoulder, pulling him close. Jaemin could feel his breath hitch, stuck inside his throat, as it grew dry by each second and he could feel himself smiling softly while Jeno wasn’t looking.

When they reached the main entrance of the bar, the name “Ben’s Bar” in neon lights reflected in their eyes, as it glittered in contrast to the dark, hazy clouds of the sky that stretched above them. Jeno still hadn’t let go of Jaemin’s shoulders, and his fingers gripped the curve of it tightly. Jaemin didn’t have enough of studying Jeno’s face, in look for a doubt that perhaps it wasn’t real and that he was just a conman who was elongating their time in search for sex at the end of the night. But something scratching inside his ribs, told him that Jeno could be trusted, even if its only for a nick of his time.

Jaemin sighed, as he begrudgingly shook his shoulders off of Jeno’s arms, which dangled back to the latter’s side. The blonde looked bewildered as he inched a little backwards.

“I hope this can be quick…” Jaemin said, blowing the stray of bangs off his forehead. His fingers hooked themselves of his own belt, pulling on them nervously, “I can’t just dilly dally my time without earning a single pence.”

“This is going to pay off.” Jeno assured, then turning swiftly towards the entrance and sauntered to the exquisite golden bars of the front door. Jaemin wished he wouldn’t have to have sex in one of the bar stalls with a handsome young man, when he-

“Come on, _young man._ _”_ Jeno strained, his hands holding the door open, revealing the illuminating lights of the inside striking through the floor in rays of yellow. Jaemin nodded, and ran to catch up to him.

“By the way, I’m not having sex with you. Do I need to pull down your zipper to prove it?”

“You are conflicting yourself”

“And all of this happened because you didn’t learn how to respect people.”

\---

As they both entered the bar, Jaemin realized he had almost forgotten how the interior looked like. With expensive chandeliers hanging from the ceilings, and the slick red tiles under their soles, felt amusing. There were, of course, eminent people hanging around the wide floor, mingling with others and dressed up in immaculate clothing. Jaemin felt singled out, and he couldn’t understand why he was there in the first place.

Jeno and Jaemin were standing there, huddled by the swamp of a prosperous people. Even with Jeno standing beside him, he felt awfully alone.

Jaemin was jolted from his train of thoughts, when Jeno tugged his suit.

“Hey.” Jeno hissed right beside Jaemin’s ear, “Target acquired.”

“What do you mean, ‘Target’?” Jaemin unwrapped Jeno’s fingers off his arms, before crossing his arms across his chest.

Jeno flicked his finger in the air, pointing at the girl sitting across the room, beside the island and the shelves filled with a plethora of drinks. Jeno’s other hand, crept again, clutching his arms and pulling it against it him.

“Now, to start your mission-”

“-mission?!” Jaemin harshly whispered back. He didn’t under the point of exchanging whispers, but he went along with it.

“Yes, mission. See that lady, go there and chat her up. Engage her and then I will take care of the rest.”

“Are you trying to kidnap her?!” Jeno pinched Jaemin’s arms painfully, to which the latter winced.

“Why would I need a guy like you to kidnap her? I could just banish her into thin air if I wanted to.”

“That sounds oddly suspicious.” Jaemin grumbled, “Actually, you did open my zipper with your ‘magic’ so why can’t you just use it on the good Lord matchmaking or sketchy ordeal you are up to?”

Jeno still had his arms in his hold, and Jaemin could feel his grip getting tighter. Jeno was close to his face, his breath tickling his skin and as Jaemin approached his eyes to swipe over Jeno knitted eyebrows, he couldn’t spot any blemish on his face.

“See…it isn’t only about magic…” Jeno eyes met Jamein’s, in the surprise of the latter as he blinked his eyes rapidly in nervousness. The tranquility of his voice when he uttered those words, strung his heart chords at some point and Jaemin tried to cough it back in.

“Oh, s-spare me-” Jaemin straightened up, burying his hand in his pockets as the warmth of Jeno’s palm left his skin in a sizzle. He wanted to storm off there, and finish whatever he came here to do.

“I will just watch you until you fuck it up.” Jeno hollered at his back, while Jaemin strode towards the woman Jeno previously pointed to. The woman sat far along at the bar, idling away with a drink and brown locks hindering Jaemin from taking a further look. She wore a pink cocktail dress, silk on further look and it matched with the bristly hair of hers.

Jaemin took a deep inhale of the reek of expensive cologne lifted in air, and padded skittishly in direction of the woman. See, although Jaemin was thoroughly engaged with people usually (with the job he had), however he had the need to open a conversation. Most of the time, the customer would pounce on him for the mere means of having sex and leave right after. Except, knowing Jaemin’s name and being informed on whatever sexual limitations he had, they knew nothing about him. So did Jaemin, except their gender, age and names (legit names, if the customer permitted).

With the aim of just making pragmatic small talks, he was pulled out of his comfort zones because he had no sex in the other end. It made him weird, fizzy and all at the same time. It wasn’t a comfortable feeling, it made his stomach churn.

Jaemin would just tell her that she looked like the character from Titanic, Rose. Everyone liked a compliment like that, so it wouldn't be of any harm. Also, on top of that it could be a nice ice-breaker.

He smiled to himself, and urged himself to take one last look at Jeno before going ahead. It was for encouraging purposes, to feel he wasn’t alone. However, when he turned on his heels, he found Jeno gone, as if dissipated into thin air. Jaemin eyes slid among the heft of people, which only grew thicker but there was no sign of Jeno being anywhere. As if he was never there from before.

Jaemin felt lost, and when he was about to take a step towards the exit, a gust of wind swept around his coat, wafting along the hem of his coat to the strand of his strands and it vacuumed all of the air out of his lungs.

A soft whisper echoed against his ear cartilage, _“I’m here.”_ It sounded like Jeno, as if he was right there by his side but there was no one as Jaemin searched around.

_Stop finding me, the voice continued,and do what I tell you to do. I am here by the window,_ Jaemin’s eyes looked up on an instant meeting Jeno’s eyes through the wine glass the latter was holding in air, _with a glass of wine in my hand._

“What-” Jaemin uttered loud enough for stranger to throw him some glares. He pretended to cup his hands by his ears to imitate as if he was taking a call.

_Don’t talk loudly. Pretend as if you have got an invisible in-ear, and you can exchange words with me in your head. Just like when you are normally thinking._

Jaemin straightened up, cocking one of his eyebrows and Jeno only nudged the glass higher up in the air, initiating a silent cheer. _Idiot._

_Hey!_ Jeno eyebrows furrowed _,_ _I can hear you._

_Well, good. It means this ‘invisible in-ear’ is working well._

Jeno sunk his lips into a thin seam, and lifted his fingers to point at the girl again.

_Now go! We can’t wait all-night long._


	2. sigh to me so willingly

“Hello.” Jaemin pushed the words with a cough, allowing himself to believe that night was like any other. He hopped on the barstool beside the girl, gingerly shifting on it as the material squeaked under his silk dress pants. As the girl looked up from the napkin pinched under his finger, Jaemin scrutinized her features and memorized. She looked nothing like Rose from the Titanic, neither her skin even came akin to the ruddy cheeks Kate Winslet had. However, the softness of her blemishes that lined up along her cheekbones, the brown locks swept from her shoulders to her back and the curtain of bangs that feel upon her eyebrows were almost enticing.

“C-Can I offer you a drink?” Jaemin asked shyly, the words left dry on his tongue. The girl smiled, the wrinkles carding through her skin as she murmured an inaudible, “yes.” Jaemin sighed inwardly, relieved partly he was successful on his first try.

Jaemin itched his ears, and cautiously threw glances over his shoulder to see if Jeno was monitoring him. It felt burdening, also a bit comforting because he knew if he screwed that _‘mission ’_ up, Jeno would be there to step in. When Jaemin did meet Jeno’s eyes, the latter’s hard stare followed him to a shiver, settling on his lower stomach.

The bartender rushed to their counter, as Jaemin lifted his fingers. He recited the orders curtly, a chardonnay for the lady and an old fashioned for him.

_You like old fashioned? Jeno asked for what it seemed like a while, his deep pitch lingering in the back of his mind._

_Yeah, why?_

_Nothing, Jaemin could feel Jeno shrugging, I just wondered._

The drinks returned in a jiffy, placed chic over green hued napkins, tall and gorgeous. The ice clunk against each other as Jaemin lifted his to take a sip, drowning his throat in a familiar burn.

“Why a drink suddenly?” The girl asked, her hands moving around the rim of her glass. Jaemin tightened his lips, and broke into a grin as he tried to hide his nervousness.

_What should I say?_

_How do I know?_ Jeno said.

_The things I do for you-_

“Idiot.”

“Huh?” Her fingers stopped, as she looked at him confused.

Jaemin turned the girl down with frenzied movements of his hands, “Not to you. I was talking to myself.” The girl seemed convinced as she took a swig of her drink.

_Way to go champ!_ Jeno cheered sarcastically, and it only heightened the irksomeness that he stifled inside.

_Shut up!_

_Now don ’ t say it too loud, again._

“Well…” Jaemin clasped his fingers on the table, a hackneyed expression, “I thought you looked like Rose from the Titanic.”

The girl looked flattered, a little taken aback.

_Really?_

_What? It was the first movie I cried to._

_No, the girl looks nothing like Rose. Seriously, you need glasses._

Jaemin rolled his eyes, awfully distracted by the scratching sensation on his eardrums. He never expected to admit that but Jeno’s little peeps in to his conversation, the sarcastic quips was what kept him uplifted. His voice was evenly tranquil spreading on to each of his words and he never wanted it to end. But he didn’t want to feed that fact to himself or to that jerk anytime soon.

“Thank you.” She murmured, her eyes trailing the calloused fingers of Jaemin tapping the table, “If it makes you feel any better…” she tipped a corner of her lips as she inched her hand forward.

“My name is Rose.” Jaemin elicited a breath of chuckle, surprised as the girl amused herself in a shy laugh too.

_Oh that was a bit of a surprise_ _,_ Jeno echoed in his head.

“I guess…I am a fortune teller.” Jaemin shook her head with a benevolent grin, “I didn’t know I had it in me.”

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Fortune Teller.”

Jaemin released her soft hands with hesitance, as he awkwardly delved it back into his pocket. The ice on his drinks seemed to melt gradually, meeting in a translucent brown drink.

“So, what’s your real name?”

The girl, Rose, pressed her lips around the rim as the drink was slowly tipped. Jaemin heaved sharply, his hands then wounded around his own glass.

_Don ’ t tell her your real name. Create a pseudo one, like how writers do. Or teenagers do fake IDs. There is George, if you are going for an English one. Sam, if American. HyeonChul, if you-_

“Jeno. My name is Jeno.” Jaemin answered smoothly, finally sipping the mixture of whiskey and letting it burn his insides.

_What?_

_I can ’ t just make a pseudo on the spot._

_Why my name among all the others, you freak?_

_You should have told me that a lot earlier, YOU FREAK._

“Sounds cool. Cool name.”

_See, she says you have a cool name._

_I can hear it, idiot._

“What do you do? Like a job, what’s your job?” The girl asked, as she rested her glass down at the table. Jaemin was caught off-guard, as he cleared his throat, in nervousness. He tried to come along with a different job but he couldn’t. He didn’t have an inkling about, say being a bartender or a businessman. Like how he didn’t have a clue about names ( for the reason that he didn’t meet enough people to know the names of) , he didn’t have much for jobs either.

He couldn’t just tell Jeno’s job _(_ _being a cupid doesn ’ t seem convincing_ _)_ , like he did with his name.

“I…” Jaemin had already expected how the night was going down or in simple words, his coat was going to be soiled in olive stains. In the nervous contemplation he had been doing, he didn’t notice the drink he had been holding in his hand was inclined towards the girl’s dress, the drink slipping from its confines, “…am a prostitute.”

The girl emitted a gasp, the mixture of whiskey tickling down the silk dress of hers. As some drops clung on to her dress, the other had escaped to the puddle on the floor. Jaemin’s hand stilled in air, bewildered, as the girl cried over her ruined dress, screaming profanities at him.

_Good job ,_ was what Jeno said in the middle of the mayhem, _now get out of there._

Jaemin stood up from the high-rose stool, still caught in a daze as the glass was forgotten behind him. He muttered some excuses to pull a curtail on their conversation, a lie of fetching some towels. As he walked away from the chaos, he craned his neck to look at the girl sitting behind.

A man appeared by her side, bent on his knees and he helped on cleaning her dress. The towels he clutched in his hand gingerly rubbed on spilled wine.

_He is the one,_ Jeno said, and it seemed the credits would roll after. Jaemin couldn’t tear his eyes away, watching the girl smile softly, watching the man buckled on his knees in front of her.

Jaemin felt the heaviness being lifted off, as he finally looked at the man down at the corner. Jeno was staring at him, the wine glass empty, as the chandelier lights shone as bright as it could.

_Let ’ s go, shall we?_ Jeno knocked his head towards the exit.

_Yeah, let ’ s go._

\----

**_Are you counting those things again_ **

**_In hope that they get you in_ **

\----

The midnight air kissed the blemishes on Jaemin’s cheeks, shivering him from within. He believed it was the air that enticed him to rub his arms, and cast his eyes down while Jeno left himself out of the door.

“Good Job!” Jeno clapped Jaemin’s back softly, before wrapping his arms around his shoulders pulling him in. It was an amiable gesture, however Jaemin could feel his lips wrapping itself under his teeth. Jeno chuckled deeply, as his arms swiped off from his backs and returned by his side.

“Y-yeah…” Jeno followed to the place where he left his car, and Jaemin paced behind him slowly, “So what?Am I am some bait?”

“Kind of. But much better…”he breathed gravely, “You make my job easier.”

“In other words, I am a bait.”

“You are a bait.”

Jeno grinned when he noticed the car waiting for him under the shed of the starry night, as he quickened his steps towards it. Jaemin rolled his eyes, and watched Jeno ducking inside the car.

The car maneuvered in front of him, and Jeno opened the door for him from the inside. The seat engulfed him again, and the smokey air clogged his nose, itching.

“Thank you.” Jeno mumbled, and Jaemin pretended that he missed among the click of the ignition and the cry of the engine. Jaemin rested his head against the window, watching the darkness pass by, with blinks of faraway lights from apartments.

“The couple…”Jeno drawled after a while, “They only last for a few months.”

“What?” Jaemin snapped his neck to meet Jeno’s profile, enlightened by the highlights of the car, “What do you mean?”

“I, to remind you again, am a cupid.” Jeno gripped the steering wheel tighter. “I can see how long the couple, I matched together, last.”

“Oh…” Jaemin delved deeper into his seat, his eyes drawing to the road extending ahead, “Why do you even get them together, if you know they are going to last?”

“Part of my job. See, I have these people lined up, and my job is to get them together, with what time thinks is their best partner and there’s that. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“What else can you do?” Jaemin asked, his eyes still flickering back to Jeno, with a hope that he would be looking at him. And Jeno was, his impassive expression pulling in.

“Other than getting people together, making condoms fly in the air, zipping down people’s pants and talking telepathically, I can see what mates certain people are bonded with.”

“Certain people?”

“The people I am assigned to.”

Jaemin took a deep breath, still holding Jeno’s eyes, as if searching anything beside the headlights reflecting in them.

“Can you tell mine? My future mate.”

“Yes.” Jeno smiled, and Jaemin didn’t dare to ask him any further. He was pleased, however, he dreaded to know who was there on the other side waiting for him. While Jeno looked away, the road catching his attention as the silence revived again effortlessly, Jaemin was still staring at Jeno.

\----

Jaemin didn’t know when he fell asleep, the dreams he had was a pointless blur. Jeno woke him up with a poke to his arm, and he fluttered his eyes open, to meet Jeno smiling at him, his eyes crinkled at their corners. It was the first time, he noticed, that when Jeno smiled, his eyes seemed to curve downwards softly.

There was no moon in the sky, to lighten the darkness that was locked in the car, but Jeno seemed to have a glow of his own. How his pale skin shone, or how his eyes glittered as he looked at Jaemin, made the latter’s heart palpate unconsciously.

Jaemin tore himself off Jeno’s seat with a yawn, and Jeno remarked with a heart laugh, “You seem sleepy. Shall I carry you upstairs?”

“Yeah. You can teleport me right?” Jaemin groaned, straightening the knots in his elbows above his head.

“No…” Jeno shook his head, “I can’t.”

“Well, sad thing.” Jaemin gripped the handle of the car to open it wide, “It’s not that I expected it anyway.” Jaemin’s one leg was already touching the gravel of the pavement, as he was about to hoist his heavy, paralyzed butt of the seat.

“I’m sorry.” Jeno said behind him. Jaemin turned is head back, as he watched Jeno tapping his fingers on the car’s steering wheel.

“For?”

“Just sorry.” Jeno shrugged, “I’ll treat you better.”

“As you said, it will all be over once I apologize to your _headmaster_. You don’t need to treat me better or whatever. I can look after myself.” Jaemin hauled out of the car, leaving the door behind him shut. He knocked on the window with his knuckles, and Jeno swiped the window down, his eyebrows furrowing.

“Thank you. See you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow.”

\----

“Good Morning~” Jaemin sang as he stumbled inside the brothel’s front desk, plopping the plastic bags of bread on the table. Renjun popped his head from his burrow of registers, as usual making them with the right colors.

“I thought…”Renjun didn’t look up from whatever had occupied him, “you were on a break? You looked so happy when I gave you the permit to sod away.”

“I am still on a break. I’m just here to see how you are doing.”

“I’m good.” Renjun stated.

“Glad to know.” Jaemin shook the packets a little louder for Renjun to look up to him. Renjun didn’t, and continued scratching the register which seemed a bit pretentious by then.

“I’m going to my room. I need to fetch my cloth-”

“Don’t.” At that time, Renjun finally piped in, rising from his seat in a flash. He walked in front of Jaemin, blocking him from the corridor.

“Renjun…” Jaemin’s voice channeled to a low growl, “What is this about?”

“Well, after you took a break…” Renjun fixed his stare at his shoes, and Jaemin could already sense where all that was going, “I called Boss up. She said to let another employee to use your room while you were absent.”

“And-”

“And I let Kim enter your room with another employee.” Renjun sighed as if he had let the huge burden lift off his shoulder. Jaemin gulped in, as he was left astounded in disbelief.

“You let Kim enter my room?” Jaemin edged with rage, “That vile disgusting human enter my room…”

“I had no choice.”

“No, Renjun. Just keep it to yourself.” Jaemin echoed in a small voice, “Keep it to yourself.”

Jaemin dashed out of the brothel, disappointment marking his heavy steps. It was true that Renjun was left with no choice, but to surrender under Miss’s orders. Jaemin was the same as Renjun, just wandering around pointless circles, waiting for the loop to end. Jaemin deemed it would clear his mind, if he popped by the nearest convenience store, to just garner some supplies to meet his dinner arrangements (if Jeno had no other to offer).

The midget sized store was piled up with cardboard boxes in the front, the employee behind the cashier missing. Jaemin hummed to himself, rummaging his pockets, looking if he had any change with him. Sighing, he strode towards the marshaled shelves, scrutinizing the new packets of chips, all in different eye-catching colors and flavour.

“I think I will scratch the idea of chips.” Jaemin said to himself,

“This looks fun.” He grabbed the heavy six packs, jamming into the basket he was gripping on to for the last couple of minutes. The bell chimed, signaling someone had entered the shop, but Jaemin was nonchalant as ever as if contemplated on what type of salt would go with the spaghetti he wanted to cook for the night.

“Hey.” His head snapped towards the incoming voice, meeting the figure of a girl, adorning a wrinkled piece of lab coat on her shoulders. “What are you planning to cook? You have been staring at the packets for long.”

Jaemin laughed, in sheer embarrassment. Perhaps, he was off to some train of thoughts, and stared at the packets too bizarrely. The girl had cropped bangs falling on her forehead, hiding her eyebrows underneath. The ruddy cheeks of her shone bright under the illumination of the fluorescent hung above. She looked young, might touch the age of 22 to 23, however Jaemin wasn’t too sure of it.

“Ah…” Jaemin rubbed his neck, straightening awkwardly, “I…” He pointed at the salt packets displayed on the shelf, “I was thinking of spaghetti tonight.”

“Spaghetti…” The girl trailed, squinting at the choices of salt, as if she was deciding for the best one, “You know, I am pretty sure these…” She took a purple colored packet from the five different one, “would be good.”

“This is the normal one. Like, the one-”

“I know.” She cackled, “I am just offering the easiest one. I am pretty much dumb on cooking stuff, but salt is just salt.” Shrugging, she threw the packet in Jaemin’s basket, “Nothing to rack your mind off to.”

“Yeah. I guess I was just trying too hard.”

“Someone to impress?” She gave a lopsided smile, plunging her hands into her lab coat’s pocket. Jaemin rolled his eyes, shaking his head.

“Nope. Just me.” Jaemin repeated, “Just me.”

“Well, good.” The girl ruffled her short hair, cut up to nape, “Not to worry, there are plenty of people like you. I am one too.” She pointed at herself, and then went on to tug her lab coat.

“I am impressing myself too. With…” She looked at her basket, so did Jaemin, “Red wine. Surprise, surprise.” She sucked in through her teeth, shaking her head in disappointment.

“Well, have a nice night.” Jaemin nodded, chasing to cut off the conversation short. The bell chimed again from behind, and Jaemin looked behind his shoulder that time. Jeno was standing there, in huff and puff, the blue shirt hanging off his chest, buttons popped open. Jaemin could feel his heart beating on his tongue, as he gulped, meaning to eat the feeling away.

On the other hand, the girl was staring Jaemin’s expression struck on his face. A smile slowly crept her lips, but she stifled it in with her teeth.

“Okay…” The girl sing-sang, shaking her basket high up in the air, “I think…” She tip-toed close to Jaemin’s ears, “You found someone to impress tonight.”

Jaemin frantically waved his hands, abiding the girl’s claims but the girl only chuckled.

“Okay!” She wheezed, “I’ll go. See you whenever.”

Jeno was walking up to his side then, as Jaemin whispered to the girl to tell her name. The girl was about to say her name, but Jeno had arrived by his side, yanking his elbow back. Jeno pulled Jaemin to the side, as he shared a look from his basket to his basket.

“Why were you talking to her?”

“What do you mean why? I am allowed to talk to anyone.” Jaemin harshly whispered. Jeno was squeezing close to him, their faces only inches away but Jaemin had his back stuck on the shelf with no other way to escape the narrowing approximation.

“Why are you whispering?”

“Why aren’t you using your telepathic device? And move away, you are smothering me.” Jaemin pushed Jeno back with the tip of his finger, and Jeno moved away easily. Jaemin turned back to see the girl gone, and her red wine out of sight.

“She is one of my clients.” Jeno said, as soon as he saw the coast was clear.

“So?” Jaemin crept his body away from Jeno’s shadow, as he took a breath, standing in an empty aisle. Jeno folded his arms, watching Jaemin from the side.

“I am supposed to interact with your clients, right?”

“Yeah, kind of.” Jeno shrugged, “But this was someone you were not supposed to. At least not yet.” Jeno came across, and studied Jaemin’s basket. He handled one of the salt packet up, heaving gravely.

“She recommended it to me. The girl.”

“How are you going to live like this?” Jeno placed the salt back onto the shelf, exchanging for another variety.

“Can you cook?” Jaemin asked,as he paid for the paraphernalia clogging his basket. With Jeno around, he was a bit more conscious of what ingredients he was choosing, so he just snatched any one that caught his eye. So the basket was full of sauces he didn’t know about, and a lot of greens he didn’t even like.

“I can try.” Jeno lunged forward, along the ledge watching the prices accumulate on the computer. He took one of the chewing gum kept beside the cashier and dropped it in the basket.

“Can cupids even eat?”

“Why do you think I took the chewing gum for? Sticking stuff?”

\----

“I am going to pick you up at,” Jeno glanced at his watch, “9. Don’t wear your clown suit, okay? It hurts my eyes.”

“Now, you are giving me more reasons to wear it.” Jaemin huffed, leaning against the heavy door.

“By the way, it was Gucci.” Jaemin added, but Jeno wasn’t fazed but he only laughed.

“Tell it to me the day you could afford it by yourself.” Jaemin expression fell at the rash statement and Jeno bit his tongue. “Okay, I didn’t mean that.” Jeno added quickly.

“You sure didn’t.” Jaemin jabbed the door to shut on Jeno’s face, making Jeno stumble backwards. The door waved a gust of air, lifting Jaemin’s bangs as he watched Jeno’s expression slack before the door shut with an audible thud. Jaemin took a breath in, trying to placate himself, of what had just occurred.

Jaemin wondered if Jeno was still standing outside, whether he was waiting for him to open the door. But even when the itch had subsided, the fear that somehow he saddened Jeno haunted him. But it shouldn’t, should it?

Why should it bother him, when Jeno had just insulted on the face? Calling him poor and useless _(although indirectly, and Jaemin wasn ’ t sure if he meant it. He didn ’ t.)_

Perhaps, Jaemin was over thinking, it was what he was doing. But the day wasn’t anyhow getting any better; first, Jeno claimed he couldn’t buy his own clothes, which was true. Everything in the apartment, including the apartment was just gifts bestowed by strangers _(clients)_ and it was embarrassing. The only person he trusted, considered his friend, Renjun, somehow trapped the most despicable man in the only room he belonged. It was as if his saying didn ’ t even matter. But his saying of course shouldn ’ t, because all of them respected _Miss_ , above him. Jaemin couldn ’ t blame them. And the girl he met that day, at the convenience store, was interesting and he wanted to know her more but that condescending entity named Jeno, halted him to do so. _He couldn ’ t even get her name._

But as Jaemin slowly lifted himself off the couch, after hours of drowning himself in thoughts and the wine he bought earlier, he realized something. Last night, when Jeno had said he was sorry, did he mean about the events that took place that very day?

He wasn’t sure if cupids could tell future, but that expression that Jeno had on his face yesterday, that inexplicable gaze, the sincerity coating his words, meant something more. Jaemin was sure then.

_Just sorry._

_I ’ ll treat you better._

“Sorry.” Jaemin said to the walls, which only blankly stared back. “Should I call him back?” The walls said nothing yet again.

“I should call him back. He apologized, in advance so its okay. Its okay.” At that time, he was desperately consoling himself of the fact, Jeno wasn’t in the wrong. It was all his fault, because it was true. At the end of the day, his job defined him more than he thought.

He scrolled through his contacts, Jeno’s number wasn’t there. Of course, it wasn’t because according to him, Jeno didn’t even have a phone. Jaemin should buy him one, for contact purposes. So he detoured on calling someone else, and the name Renjun, on his screen screeched for attention.

“Hey, Renjun.”

\---

Jaemin still wore the lavender suit from yesterday, just to irk Jeno off and a little humor to brush the tension away. He waited up until 10, but there was no sign of Jeno arriving at his door. He did busy himself earlier, to pace the time forward, cooking spaghetti and devouring it. He also kept a decent share for Jeno.

It was 5 minutes past 11, and the magazines seemed to only bore him. The air-conditioner was turned high, because the suit felt warm soon enough until it was unbearable. Perhaps, he wasn’t coming, Jaemin thought but soon enough, he scratched the thought away, with much enthusiastic, no he would.

“I’m his job. He loves his job, doesn’t he?” He said to the indifferent porn model staring at him from the glossy magazine paper. And that being said, another 20 minutes fluttered away, and Jaemin flickered his gaze from the magazine and to the clock, disappointed.

Clutching his suit, he stood up, the magazine forgotten on the sofa, pages curled up on the corners. Jaemin switched the air-conditioner off with a beep, and slipped off his suit, passing it over to the couch, bunching the ironed sleeves. Perhaps, he had lost his chance, of anything he had hoped. Retrieving his prick was the last thing on his mind, but the evanescence relationship he had with Jeno muddled in his head like tangled spaghetti. Like the ones, cold and stagnant on the counter.

But the small, inaudible knock on his front door, caught him tumbling off the verge of the mountain in the deep slumber. Halfway to his door, he turned on his heel, his mind chanting if it was the one he hoped. His hand deliberated on the clutch of the door, with an antecedent fear of what would be coming through, surging on him and if he was ready to face it.

The door budged open, wind whistling through his ears, as it revealed the one he wanted to see the most.A fractious pout had settled on his lips, but he bit it down, feigning subtle surprise.

“Why are you here?”

Jeno eyes crinkled, again, on the sides as he tapped on his ear.

“You called me.” He accused, but Jaemin only huffed. If he had come from his calling, he would have been here long before. But it was 30 minutes to 12, and the sleep was itching on his scrambled consciousness.

“I didn’t.” Jaemin stated and then he took a breath in, “See yourself out. I’m sorry for the things I said earlier, but I think I am in no mood of getting people together.”

“I want you to be there. With me.” Jeno stopped the door from shutting as he slipped his boots in, a peek of his face flashing through the small gap, staring at Jaemin helplessly. Jaemin didn’t if it was his sleep haranguing him to go to bed, or if it was the ardent words leaving Jeno’s mouth, he felt awfully dazed and his heart was taking up a run.

“I’m sorry.” Jaemin opened the door wider, “I don’t think I can go. I am sleepy and I have work-”

“You don’t have to work. You can’t work, remember?” Jeno accosted, stepping in slightly into Jaemin’s apartment. Jaemin trailed some, “ah”s under his breath and honestly the lack of sleep was doing things to him.

“Please can you wake me up with your magic or something?”

Finally, Jeno was inside his apartment, and Jaemin felt as if the air-conditioner was on. The chill had installed itself near Jaemin’s shoulder as Jeno approached near, with bold steps. His nose stayed aligned with Jaemin’s, their chest almost contiguous and Jaemin had realized how similar in height they were.

“We are both 178cm, just in case.” Jeno smiled, and lifted his hands to touch Jaemin's temple. On Jaemin’s reflex, he necked away but Jeno had grabbed his shoulders, to stabilize him on his standing.

“Don’t move, okay?” Jaemin acquiesced with a skittish nod, but Jeno could work with that. “Now, all I am going to do is press on your forehead, and you have to think of something ecstatic, or just a joyous scene you encountered recently. Something that made your heart beat.”

Jaemin closed his eyes, and all the memories reeled in. It was just rapid, sprinting episodes flashing across his closed eyelids, the hint of the closed of dark curtain enlightened in every bit of those. It was bits of boisterous elements, highlighting itself, running from the moment he had fell on the ground because of the spilled water, or how the woman (or queen) had screeched at him before she left or the hapless event of him losing a job or the first time he had lost his virginity. Those were not joyous moments, but exhausting ones, the ones he felt like the energy had just seeped through him. Jaemin only felt sleepier.

But then he tried again, his fingers curled into fists, and eyes squeezed. He didn’t know why he was trying so hard, because he wasn’t sure whether that whole “magic-scam” would work. However, he couldn’t wait, locking him inside that car, whooshing through his streets and just bantering with the one beside. Jeno. Jeno, he was just there, emerging into his life through what it seemed was a lie. A magician, with tricks up his sleeves which were inexplicable yet enticing. It ripped across Jaemin’s guts, his heart when he let those condoms fly in the air. Or when he met his eyes, through the wine glass from the corner of the bar.

When he came through the door, into his room, the hole on his suit felt sewed up and his lips sealed in, in the lack of speech. How his throat clogged whenever Jeno looked at him, clutched his shoulders and pulled him in. He could feel it then, glittering on his fingertips, imbibed in those moments of just palpitations as it gamboled through his veins.

“You are done.” Jeno pulled him out, with a click of his fingers. When Jaemin opened his eyes, he felt more awake than ever. Jeno’s eyes was staring at him, with a smile playing on his lips, as if he knew what Jaemin had thought about. He moved quite some steps back, and Jaemin’s crest fell,in sheer disappointment.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t see what you thought.” Jeno mentioned, as if placating Jaemin’s chagrin. “You are safe from revealing your sex fantasies.”

“I wasn’t thinking about sex!” Jaemin retorted, abashed. He slipped his hands through his shirt, and massaged his chest, his heart seemed like it would pop out any minute. As if he was on drugs, and the heightened blood pressure seemed to control him.

“Looks like you already got some energy in you. Let’s go, before it plummets down.”

“I really hate you.” Jaemin said, but it was more directed towards himself than the man, who was then standing on his porch.

“Go…wear your clown suit again! It is torture to eyes, yes, but it seems like a sweet deal if I let you wear it again in return of my apology.”

“Yeah, its sweet.” Jaemin said dryly, and walked over to the sofa, slipping the coat back on. Jeno stood there, scrutinizing him as he let the coat relax on his shoulder, and the watch dangle off his wrist. 

“Come on.” Jeno said, with an inclined nod of his head towards the corridor. Jaemin followed behind, as Jeno pressed the buttons on the lift, waiting for it to arrive. That day, Jaemin kept his gaze fixed on the doors of the lift, unraveling and closing with a slam. He tried to make his head clear of unnecessary thoughts, because he knew Jeno could read them and that didn’t ameliorate the situation any better.

Jeno seemed almost a fastidious chap; checking if the dashboard of his car was correct, locking and unlocking the door, checking it meticulously and also reaching for Jaemin’s seatbelt, tugging it slowly to check it was tight enough. Jaemin remembered he didn’t perform that type of ritual the day before, and he wondered if there anything wrong with him.

“Nothing is wrong with me.” Jeno elucidated, as he pressed for the ignition, “I am just feeling a little skittish than usual, that’s all.”

“Bad premonition or something?”

“Not really…it's simply an itch in the back of my mind. I had a quarrel today with the queen so I am just afraid if she would be up to something.” He revved the car up, sprinting from the garage to the exit, “Like crashing this car.”

Jaemin hurriedly clutched on the handle above his head, for leverage. What had his ascetic life turn to? It was akin to a scene from an awful fantasy-car crash-tragedy movie. He should had reconsidered his decision.

Jaemin thought of the way to discursive to a lighter conversation. He never thought he would ask,

“Why do you even do this job? Were you born to do this or were you dead to do this?” Jaemin clicked his tongue in distaste, “Sorry no better words up here.”

“I believe I was born to do this.” Jeno said, looking over the horizon, the cars singling out each block they passed, “I mean, I do love getting people together you know. Makes me feel giddy and all, knowing that I will never be able to feel what they feel.”

“That’s sappy.” Jaemin chuckled nervously, leaning on to the window, watching the golden lights hover them by, “Why? Aren’t you allowed to fall in love or something?”

“Yes, I am allowed to fall in love.” Jeno shared a stare from his peripheral sight, “But, we are not exactly compatible with humans.”

“Oh.”

“I think that is enough questions for now. Save some for the return journey.”

Jaemin silenced down, keeping his ears perked for the whirr of the air-conditioner. As prior, he didn’t know where he was going, but he let himself be dragged by Jeno to the end of the destination. He couldn’t point exactly, when he had bestowed all his trust on to that con-man, but it was for the better of him, he thought.

“We are here.” Jeno announced, letting a sigh tangle on to the end of his words.

“Where is this place?” Jaemin peered behind the tinted glass, trying to focus on to the neon sign fixed above. There was that quivering sound of music blasting to its highest volume and the indecipherable silhouettes crowding the front.

“Night club.” Jeno parked beside the array of other expensive ones, and Jaemin could the feel of dread creeping on his skin.

“Night club? What are we doing in a nightclub?”

“What else do you think _we_ would do?”

\---

“Wow…”Jaemin exclaimed, hovering his eyes on the heft of the thickening population, “There is a _lot_ of people inside.”

“It's not somewhere you haven’t been. Come on!” Jeno grabbed a hold of Jaemin’s wrist, lunging him beside him. But as he stood there, a stab of a trinket caught the sole of his shoe. Jaemin could feel it crushing under the wrath of his weight, so he lifted one leg to scrutinize it.

“What is it?” Jeno, impatience edging his words, asked as Jaemin cowered down to pick it up.

“A ring.” Jaemin said, as he studied the silver band in the touch of his fingertips, “Can you tell whose it was?” He angled his face up meeting Jeno’s eyes, but Jeno only shrugged, with a “Beats me.”

“You didn’t even try.” He dropped it inside his coat pocket, patting it before he heaved sharply.

“I can’t if you are just picking up rubbish from the floor.”

“Good Lord.” Rolling his eyes, he sauntered forward with Jeno following close with his string of guffaw. Jeno always had something incendiary to say to tick him off.

The club, as usual, glowed of its trite nature of booze, half-naked women, an overly hyped DJ and men sucking up to whatever gender. Jaemin took air through his nose, and he smelt the noxious reek of alcohol just fluttering through. It never made him easy to breath, even including the time he served at a strip club. For a moment, he had forgotten all about Jeno who was beside him, but slid his eyes over the perfidious nature of ordinary people. All the awful memories of puerile days surged over him like pricking goosebumps.

“Hey. You fine?” Jeno poked his arms, jerking him from the train wreck of thoughts. Jaemin nodded lightly, but Jeno didn’t say anything even though he wasn’t left convinced.

“You know, I can read your thoughts, right?” Jeno jabbed him with his elbows, trying to assuage Jaemin of anything he was thinking. “Right. Then I’ll try to think less.”

Jeno chuckled, “Okay.” Jeno studied Jaemin’s expression for a while before asking what had been on his mind.

“Do you want to dance?”

Jaemin, surprised, looked over to his side, only to see Jeno looking at him, with a hopeful and childish glimmer in his eyes.

“Dance? I’m not sure-” Before he could resist himself of Jeno’s tug, he was soon disclosed to an _unattractive_ (attractive) display of Jeno swaying his hips quick, poking the air by his side in tune to the 80s disco. _Saturday night_ sang the speakers, and Jaemin found himself overawed at how Jeno was pestering him to follow his moves.

“Come on.” Once Jeno accosted to a hard pull of Jaemin’s arms, Jaemin fell close to Jeno’s chest, their bodies only inches apart. Jaemin could feel the smothering whistles of the crowd, the widened smile plastered on Jeno’s face and the disco song segueing to a painful slow jam.

“Oh.” Jeno exclaimed, “Slow song.” Jeno pulled Jaemin by the waist along the lyrics of the song when they first met, “A groovy kind of love.” by Phil Collins and Jaemin could acknowledge his stance being bitten away.

“You son of a bitch.”

Jeno edged close to Jaemin’s ears, whispering lightly over the melancholy pitch of the singer’s voice, “I am no son…” His lips were almost touching the cartilage of Jaemin’s ears, “and my hypothetical mother is no bitch.”

“Okay.” Jaemin rested his chin on Jeno’s shoulder, he could not see what expression Jeno had on. They were simply standing, a foot or two stepping side by side, and Jaemin could feel the nerves melting upon the tight grip of Jeno’s arms.

“This feels nice.” Jeno patted Jaemin’s back, “I feel like a parent coddling a month old baby.”

“Shut up.”

“Go back to sleep, my little one.” After that, it ended with a hurtful wince resounding close to Jaemin’s ears, as he pinched Jeno’s back.

It didn’t seem long, the song was already at its last verse and Jaemin wondered if it could be looped like he did in his mp3 players. If the DJ would play the song again, if he requested, and would Jeno ask him to dance for the second time? He wasn’t aware, yet again, of how dangerous it was for him to agree to being Jeno's concomitant.

“So the target is here.” Jeno tore himself off Jaemin’s embrace quick and pointed at the corner place were all _‘lazy asses_ ’ sat. The word being given and used profoundly for those people who just came to the disco for _‘just looking_ _’_ and _‘a lot of crying_ _’_ _._ Jaemin wasn’t necessarily proud for his inarticulate vocabulary, but most of the words came from his stripper days.

The one Jeno pointed was of course, an odd one out of the elated people surrounding her. Jean Jacket, pin straight hair, what it looked like a really cheap shoes, and was quite a step down from the last woman he was directed to. A simple college girl, probably.

“As prior, chat her up. See where the conversation goes…”Jeno tapped his ears for emphasis, “and listen to what I will be saying.”

“Got it.” Jaemin smiled, although was a bit forced. Jeno settled, with the bar, standing away from them. When Jaemin checked over his shoulder, he saw Jeno’s eyes stuck on him among the others and he held the eyes for the most time he could.

_Go on_ _…_ Jeno said into his ears. Jaemin nodded again, for it was time to attend the mission and forget about the succumbing emotions circling in his head.

The girl was hunched, studying her fumbling fingers and Jaemin sighed. He absolutely despised of girls, who cried over nothing _(_ _mostly it was about nothing_ _)_ , and he had enough to experience how frustrating it was. He crept close and sat beside her, and observe silence until he could listen to the cries yielding in.

“Do you need a napkin?” Jaemin approached cautiously, and her face, contained by her brunette hair, with sparks of the colourful disco light, slightly wobbled. _Please, god, let me have a napkin_. Jaemin, surprisingly had a napkin hidden in his coat pocket which-

_I sneaked in when you weren ’ t looking_ _,_ Jeno quipped.

_Thank you, creep._

_Not my fault, you were pretty engrossed in the song. What do you even like-_

The girl rubbed off her tears, and strung her hair around her ears. The tip of her nose was red, her face flushed, as she returned the napkin onto his hand. Jaemin bunched it back into his pocket, making sure to crease it horribly in his pocket.

“Than-Thank you.”

“It’s okay. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” Her voice quivered as she said so, and Jaemin gulped back as he was getting genuinely nervous. What should he talk about anyway?

“Are you alone?” Okay, then he sounded like perpetrator, picking up young girls. The coat did not affect to any advantage. But the girl only looked at him and shook her head. Although the club was dark, so Jaemin could only border her contours, and the flutter of her eyelashes.

“My friend, she came here and…got wrapped into a game with some strangers.” Jaemin was then worried about her friend than anything, because all those games meant was an exchange of drugs and sexual offers.

“Don’t worry, no one is going to sell her drugs. “ The girl reassured, as if reading his thoughts, “She wore a lab coat over her _sexy_ dress. She looks like a freaking clown.”

And the girl resembled Jeno more and more, which made the situation a whole lot weirder.

_Jeno, are you there?_

_Uh-huh_

_Are you sure you are not dressing up as a girl, and tricking me into something?_

_If I had such time to. Now, you gave me a great idea to tick you off._

“So why are you crying?” Jaemin loomed a little lower, crunching his shoulders and crossed his arms on his knees. But it only made the girl sob more, as she held her hand out for the napkin again. Jaemin reached his pocket for his napkin and gave it back on her hands.

“I-I-didjudtdid…”Her words were illegible but Jaemin tried to differentiate it apart.

“My boyfriend proposed to me earlier this week. He gave me a ring and all, and I took it but I was not sure if I really want such a big commitment. So I called him up, and told him that I wanted to break it up. But I was just scared you know. I told him I would return the ring and will go in our own merry ways, but my stupid ass lost the ring in the way here. My boyfriend is now coming to the club now and I don’t know what to do. I also don’t want to break the thing off, because I love him.”

“You love him?”

“That goes without saying.” The girl hummed, a sigh ending her sentence. Jaemin nodded, before delving his hand in his pocket, his hands searching for the ring he had picked up earlier. He did assume while doing so, that Jeno must had set that whole scene up, ring dropped on the floor, the girl looking for that exact ring. There was no other conclusion rather than that.

_You set me up to this?_

_I set you up with all my clients, remember?_

When the slim band of silver poked his finger, he wounded it around the tip of his finger, fishing it up. Jaemin simply nudged the girl with a side glance at her hand, so the girl was about to hand the napkin thinking Jaemin wanted it back, but was presented with a ring in the middle of her open palm.

“You might be looking for this.” Jaemin watched how the girl gasped lightly, before pinching the ring in between her fingers and scrutinized it with astonishment. Perhaps, Jaemin could get inured to the antics Jeno pulled, because honestly, it wasn’t _half-bad._ A small grin sneaked its way to Jaemin’s lips as he acknowledged the girl’s continuous gratefulness, and simply developed a casual conversation.

Jeno didn’t interrupt them, and drowned in his own glasses of champagne. On the other hand, Jaemin broke an exchange of information, underlining their age, occupation (which Jaemin wasn’t being able to answer after being interrupted the girl herself) and name (Jaemin was still going by Jeno).

“So, your boyfriend…is he coming here?” Jaemin asked, studying the ring, then sitting in the gaps of her fingers, fitting perfectly.

“Yes. He said…”she took a quick glance of her phone, the bright screen hurting their eyes in the darkness manifesting around them, “He would be here by 5 minutes.”

“Great. Great.” Jaemin paused for a minute, “Your friend?”

“Oh.” The girl chuckled, “She is fine. She always is, somehow.” Her phone blared of an incoming message, which she quickly checked, “On that note, she is coming here. I will introduce you to her.”

“Yes-” But as if the loud screech of the mic had been held in his ear, a cacophony of noises drilled in his ears painfully. There was a squeak of Jeno’s voice, an unclear string of words contradicting his prior pellucid form of communication.

_Get out of there._ He said, although uncomfortable scratches breaking his sentences, _Now._

_I am not done yet. Her boyfriend isn ’ t here yet. The thing hasn ’ t played out-_

_Do what I am telling you to do, please._

Jaemin couldn’t apprehend the tone of his voice, when he muttered the last syllable of _please._ The incorrigible scenes of the club, became visible again under his gaze, as he slowly stood up from his seat, while the girl was busied with her phone. The licentious businessmen, the trite picture of flirtatious girl sucking up to them, and the 80s music echoed in his ears, like a cassette from the past. Jeno was there, on the other side waiting for him, and he had to go.

“Hey!” An exclamation of a familiar voice tugged his posture from behind, his feet stumbling back for support. It was the girl from before, then more visible, lithe figure and sculptured face. She was pretty, Jaemin thought.

“You went away without telling me.”

“Sorry. My friend needed me.” Jaemin lied, and he saw how her shoulders slumped sadly with her lips puckering sulkily.

“My boyfriend will be here any minute. I want him to see you. You helped me find my ring.”

“It’s okay.” Jaemin placated with his commercial smile, “I should really go.”

The girl nodded understandingly, before inching her hand to hold Jaemin’s hand in hers. She patted his knuckles softly, before saying, “Thank you. For finding my ring.”

Jaemin turned back on his heels, after the girl left him in the middle of the blinding lights of the club. With a scrunched up heart, he padded towards the bar, appearing beside Jeno. Jeno was sipping on his last glass of champagne and he darted his gaze to him from the rim of his glass.

“What took you so long?”

“You should know.” Jaemin huffed, snatching Jeno’s glass to take a swig, “You can hear us, right?”

“Not anymore. I can’t hear what you are thinking. I told you before the queen was onto something and she…well, I do respect her, but she was being a total bitch. She took it. She took my ability to read minds.”

“Seriously?” Surprised, Jaemin slammed the glass on the table and took a long, hard look at Jeno’s face. He couldn’t tell if he was telling the truth. His face was stoned, with his eyebrows curling up in the middle and his lips a bold dash. It was akin to his usual expression, so he couldn’t figure if he was disappointed or angry or just impassive.

“You are lying?” Jaemin poked and stabled his elbows behind him, leaning back. Jeno was legs over leg, sitting on the stool, as he breathed out through his nostrils. The blue hued illumination of the bar, imprinted its rays on the side of Jeno’s face, and as always it was enthralling.

“Test me.” Jeno breathed through his nostrils, “Go on. Stab me with all the ill-profanities you have stored in your brain.”

“Okay.” _It should be fun_ _,_ Jaemin smirked on the euphonious sound of that.

_Shit head._

_“_ I am pretty sure you just called me shit-head, but that is all you can think of. Hit me with a hard one.”

Jaemin twisted his lips upwards, pondering.

“How about…?”

_You are an effing con-man … I think. Your magic tricks are just a stupid scam?_

“Nope. Didn’t hear a bit.”

_Okay … I think you are good-looking. I meant most of the time._

“Are you sure you are slamming me with your best curse?”

_And … not sure about it. Totally, not 100 percent sure. But I …_ Jeno stared right into his soul, as if he knew what he was thinking. But Jaemin still wanted to say it. _I think I like you._


	3. oh, for heaven's sake

Jaemin had confessed, loud and clear to his own ears but not to the person who was supposed to hear. Jeno, obviously deadpan ned, stared at Jaemin trying his best to comprehend what he just said in the abyss of his mind, that made Jaemin’s ears graduate to a crimson hue.

“I am really handsome…?”

Jaemin cleared his throat, before rubbing down his nape straightening his nerves, “Well, you are unsurprisingly narcissistic…”

“It's not the first time I heard about it.” Jeno commented, letting his hand hand on Jaemin’s shoulders, “So, no need to feel embarrassed. You just made my day-I mean night even better!”

Mine, the worst. Jaemin said, as he realized (for once more) he was painfully, shamelessly down to his knees for that man. Jeno tilted the corner of his lips for a smile, and stood up catching Jaemin close to his face, much to the latter's chagrin.

“Let’s go.”

Jaemin let out a breath of disgust, as he winced, “Oh your breath smells. How much did you drink?”

“Oh, I don’t keep track.”

“For a person not keeping track, you are as sober as I have seen you till now. Like don’t you get drunk?” Jaemin asked, keeping his footing synchronized with Jeno’s, following his shoes like a hawk. Jaemin was, as usual, asking nonsensical questions to keep himself composed, rather than breaking off completely because as every second passed, he was more and more thrust towards the bold truth.

“You are asking an awful lot of questions today.” Jeno paused, suspicion marking the sentence more like a question. Jaemin chuckled airily, idiotically stating that he always did.

“Not being able to hear your thoughts is making me queasy.” Jeno shuddered, but Jaemin was relieved that Jeno didn’t brood on that topic any further.

As Jaemin and Jeno approached the entrance, Jaemin eyes cornered sideways, in order to spot the girl from before. If her boyfriend finally came, and took her in, despite her on-going contemplation about commitment. And after a few minutes of wandering his gaze, Jaemin finally made her silhouette, jabbed close to another man, her head rested against his chest. They were swaying in terms of the serene beats of the slow song, her ring iridescent under the purple blinding lights of the disco. Inadvertently, a smile grew across Jaemin’s visage, highlighting the warmth he felt inside his chest.

“Come on.” Jeno urged, tugging Jaemin’s elbow. Jaemin nodded, and followed Jeno out of the suffocating innards of the place that projected his past. However, rather than that, Jaemin would like to think that the horrible captures of his past, was replaced with that small, evanescent scene of the girl dancing with her loved one. It would be much better.

When Jaemin was jammed inside the car, with the chilly air of the air-conditioner and memories from the last few hours, he felt inexplicably bizarre. He looked to his right, Jeno was driving silently among the wide highway and Jaemin flicked his gaze away, as the latter’s enamored features was smothering him. Resting his head on the window, he thought of the other couples that Jeno allegedly match-made and whether he felt like how he was feeling then?

If Jeno could read his thoughts, he would answer. Whether he felt empty, a little weak because he let two other strangers find love while he was left alone again? Jaemin caught his arms, and rubbed it up and down, so when Jeno noticed Jaemin doing so, he turned the air-conditioner down.

“How many do they last? The ones we met today…” Jaemin trailed, keeping his eyes cast low, as he curled the stray thread of the hem of his coat around his finger.

“How many do you want them to last?” Jeno asked, his words sounding as if he was stifling a chuckle.

“Don’t answer my question with another question. Just tell me.” His voice murmured to a low next, “and as if my answer is going to change anything.”

“Well, they last quite a bit. 30 years? 40? All I know they last sometime unlike my other ones.”

“Okay.” Jaemin conceded, satisfied with the answer.

“Hey, Jeno?” Jaemin asked again, his eyes stretched out as he kept watching the blinking lights of the cars.

“Hmm?”

“I think I understand why you do the work you do.” Jaemin answered, taking Jeno by surprise. However, Jeno hid it well with a hearty laugh.

“Thank you.”

Jaemin stared ahead for a while, before feeling the energy seep of like syrup, as if pooling on his shoes, heavy. He sighed, hugging his arms tighter as he felt a little dizzy, and light headed. His eyelids start curtain close…

“You seem sleepy.”Jeno’s voice sounded slurred, as if whirls of words circled around his head. Jaemin managed to mumble some stubborn no’s, fighting against his urge of knocking out completely.

“Nope.” He strained, “I’m not sleepy. You are sleepy.” By then, he’s blabbering like a drunkard.

“Okay. Go to sleep. Your energy is draining off and you need-” The rest of the sentence tuned down to an unclear buzz, Jaemin’s eyelids clapped shut as his head lolled lazily against the head-rest of the car.

“Goodnight.”

\---

When Jaemin tiredly peeled his eyes open, he was presented with a white ceiling staring back to him, plainly. He wandered his eyes around, noticing he was back in the own sanctuary of his apartment. Rubbing both of his eyes with the balls of his palms, he regained a straight posture, resting his back on the cushioned head-rest.

“Oh Jeno…”Jaemin said to himself, on the verge of sulking. The memories of yesterday’s ‘enthusiastic’ night came rushing over, taking a hold of his groggy wakefulness and letting him agonize over the indirect confession he spilled to the possible crush of his. Jaemin wanted hit his head on the nearest wall, until he could erase all of those scenes circling his head, reminding him how much of a fool he was.

Clutching his blanket, he tugged it upwards, letting his naked toes breath in the chill air. Jeno might had used his teleportation ability to vanish Jaemin all the way to his apartment. However, previously, Jeno did say he didn’t have the ability to do so. So, Jaemin thought, did Jeno carry him ( _bridal style?!)_ by the assistance of his own toned arms, to the stage of his bedroom. Did Jeno throw away his clown jacket all the way to the other side of the floor, and tuck him inside his blanket and sneak away?

“Wow…”Jaemin exclaimed softly, touching his heated cheeks with the softness of his palms, _“Am I blushing?”_

Well, that embarked Jaemin on an exhausting wash-over of his face, rubbing on his cheeks to dissipate the pink hue away. But it never seemed to vanish, as the glimmer of Jeno’s face, his eyes, the corner of his lips as he smiled and his suits. _Oh my god, his suits_ …cried Jaemin, as he kept stretching his cheeks away and in.

“Hey, Renjun?” Jaemin called, after minutes of deliberation of what he could possibly do to jump over that puddle of insecurity. Renjun piped a quick, ‘yeah’, evident that he was preoccupied with colour-coding his notes again. Jaemin wondered if the registers are as filled up with customers, as it was when he was there.

“Um…”Jaemin scratched the side of the cheek, after-effect of rinsing cleansing cream off his face for the third time, “How’s business?”

“Good. Good.” That made Jaemin’s shoulders slack a little. Moderate would had been a proper answer, in his case.

“That’s great.” Jaemin said, in a gloomy voice,. Renjun hummed, and a silent ensued for a while before Jaemin spoke up, “Can we meet somewhere?”

“Yeah.” Renjun said before asking, “Is something wrong? You seem gloomy.”

“Not wrong. Absolutely nothing wrong. Nothing wrong.” He grabbed the cellphone tighter, before repeating the words another two times, ensuring Renjun, ‘everything was wrong.’

“Okay, just tease me on what is up in your mind, and we will talk about it at our usual okay?” Their usual meant, the cafe that was situated on the corner of the street where their brothel was located. It served all sorts of delicacies, including weird french named desserts they didn’t even know how to pronounce. But it was their only place of tranquility, where they could talk over the half-eaten creme brulee.

“Renjun…”Jaemin whined, his voice weirdly quivering, “I think I like someone.”

\---

“You like someone?!” Renjun commented, and Jaemin noticed the voidness of their table; no croissants and no half-eaten creme brulee (Renjun was raged).

“Well, yeah…” Jaemin mumbled off, not sure how to phrase what he was feeling. He felt guilty in a sort-of-way, and Renjun was the only one he could talk to without being judged. But the last bit was clearly scratched, because Renjun was obviously judging him right now.

“No. Jaemin. Whoever that is-”

“It is the guy from the last day of work.”

“Oh.” Renjun paused, licking his lips. “Well, that explains it.”

“No.” Jaemin defensively cut Renjun’s assuming thought off, or at least he tried to, “I mean I don’t like because he is attractive. He is attractive, no doubt. But I like him because he is nice. He is nice to me.”

“You are talking very fast.” Renjun commented before he put his finger in the air, to signal a waiter. A stout man came, with an accompaniment of a small gray notebook and jotted down the choices of desserts, Renjun dictated without even looking at the menu. Not that menu was very helpful, except bragging the unbelievable prices of food in those days.

“You want something?” Jaemin chanted a quick, “no” before the waiter disappeared off.

“The last time, Jaemin…”A sigh from the chapped gape lips of Renjun, “You were in ‘love’,”cue the air-quotations, “You…you were devastated. Kim…I don’t want to remind you…”

“Just stop-”

“No, Jaemin.” Renjun stared right into Jaemin’s eyes, lunged a bit forward on the table, as his hand stayed clasped right in front of his chest, “The fact you ever stopped liking a person was because you were hurt. Repeatedly. Stabbed in the back and what-not.”

_Back-forward a couple of years, a pretty 6 years weighing on Jaemin’s shoulders. Jaemin met ‘Miss’ on his way to the city for another try. The reason he was ever back to his own homeland, was because he was futile in his desperate attempts of finding a stable, well-paid job and nobody could fend himself, except himself. Miss offered, a decent deal, which he considered on the first words she had uttered._

_“Would you consider working-”_

_“Yes.”_

_“As a male prostitute. A stripper.”_

_“Yes.” It was more of a rushed, heavy and incorrigible decision but he did not dwell on it._

_Step ahead a few months, he met Kim. Jaemin couldn’t say much about him, except he was a parsimonious, reprobate rat wrapped in a facade of 30 year old businessman. Jaemin was only 20 then. Kim was a stolid character; you wouldn’t know a single thing about him until you had sex. And Jaemin did, his first ever breach into ribald adulthood. A night turned into two, a night of sex turned into something more and pretty soon, Jaemin wasn’t just a vacuous person to ruin. Jaemin was Kim’s lover, and Jaemin believed Kim was his too. His first love. The kind and innocent (not too much) first love._

_During the time they slept together, Kim was careful of doing anything to hurt Jaemin. He cared, he really cared unlike Jaemin thought. The kisses were honest, the ‘love you’s was honest until the last ‘goodbye’ was (as Jaemin wanted to believe) honest too. Sadly. Horrifyingly._

_Kim’s wife had found out his daring night out, and banned him from ever coming back. At least that was Kim had said, when they met for the last time. At a nightclub, where Jaemin worked then. The irony of it still amazed Jaemin._

_Jaemin didn’t throw champagne glasses at him, the car ride to his apartment was wide-awake. Jaemin couldn’t cry, because he couldn’t understand the point of it. But he was in love, he was so much in love._

“Because you were in love, Jaemin. I don’t want to see you again, growing through the same circle of grieving and just impassive emotional control, okay?”

“Okay.” Jaemin didn’t notice the tear that met the coffee that was right under him, growing cold. “Okay.” Jaemin repeated once again, more to himself than the mocking rhythm of the song, “Sweet Caroline” playing in the background.

“Good.” Renjun cornered Jaemin again, as he finally lifted his eyes to watch Renjun sigh again, “I am just saying this for your own well-being. Don’t make me the bad guy here.”

“I am not.”

“Go ahead.” Renjun nudged, “Eat your breakfast.”

Jaemin, repressively took a bite of the stale croissant, letting the chewiness melt under the grind of his teeth. When he said, they frequented there, he didn’t mean the food was exceptionally delicious. It was, as seen, left-overs. Hence, the half-devoured croissant.

“How is your wife?”

“Healthy. Pretty. Sexy…” Renjun pulled on his lips with the tips of his fingers, chuckling, “I don’t think I should I tell you these things.”

“Yeah. You shouldn’t.” Jaemin smiled, brushing off the flour of his hands and shirt.

“Hey…”Renjun asked again, but that time the call was sincere and low, “I am giving you the benefit of the doubt here. If you like him, really like him, I say go for it. But if you know that you are going to get hurt at the end, like you did before, don’t.”

“Okay…” Jaemin remembered the time Jeno apologized, under the howls of dogs and the shadow of the growing night. It was alright, even if humans aren’t possibly compatible with cupids (or whatever Jeno claimed to be). That time, Jaemin knew of the ‘goodbye’ and he was going to cherish the time he had until he had to step over that farewell.

“Sorry.” Jaemin stood, a wide grin growing on his lips,”I am going after him.”

Renjun suddenly spun around, as if searching for Jeno.

“Where is he?”

Plunging his hands into pants, Jaemin guffawed loudly, catching some attention of the flies feeding on their croissants, and the one waiter that was there.

“I meant that I am going to pursue him. He is not here, you idiot.”

“Of course.” Renjun composed politely, ignoring the wheeze fit Jaemin was going through, “Now don’t go breaking your own heart.”

\---

“How much is that?” Jaemin pointed over the glass cage, showcasing all the colorful phones that bandwagon of ‘trendy’ people jumped over that time. It was shiny, shimmering and it made Jaemin’s heartbeat, as he imagined each and one, under the grasp of Jeno’s hand. Most of them were sleek ravens, and other stood with their poly-chromatic charm. Jaemin had his own phone at the back of his mind, reminding him of its own, 5 years rotten, quirky features.

Jaemin was pointing at a golden coated phone, screen almost the size of his hand and he wondered how it would look like against Jeno’s ears.

“That is $998. It has 5’8 OLED display...” The worker continued to ramble, “…Facial recognition…”Jaemin thought of how Jeno would unlock the phone with the chiseled face of his.

“Whatever. Just give me that.” Jaemin said, his hand fumbling in his pocket in search for his wallet, with his cards stacked inside. The money he bought it, was his own hard earned effort. Last month, he had saved in case he had any emergencies to attend to, and although buying Jeno wasn’t necessarily an emergency, but he considered it as one.

“Okay. Good choice.” The worker said, almost monotonously. Jaemin handed over the money swiftly, proudly before handling the plastic packet in his hands, tugging it close to his body.

When he arrived home, he didn’t even emerge out of his clothing before plopping on a sofa, ripping off the packaging of the phone. Without thinking, Jaemin crunched down his own phone number in Jeno’s phone, adoring his caller-name with emoticons and such. He loved it, the way his heart spiked up with childhood innocence and eagerness when he was really in the milestone of being 27.

“That should work.” The wallpaper of the phone a pixelate picture of a Greek statue, which he found after scrolling through Google for 5 minutes. Actually it was a sculptured statue of Cupid and Psyche, the woman (or so it seemed) was despairingly hanging on to the Cupid, as the latter held her face with anguish.

The apartment was silent and stagnant, except the audible padding of Jaemin’s shoe all around the living room. The new phone was there alone on the glass table, along with his knitting tool, a ball of yarn and two sticks of crochets. Nauseousness had taken a hold of his stomach, as he felt like the food he had eaten that morning would be out any second.

Jaemin went to the washroom, splashed some water on his face but that odd itchiness scratching certain patches of his skin wasn’t getting enough. His heart was stuck on his throat, as he thought that Jeno would be there anytime soon. The TV programs were mundane, slowly trudging and it made him grab the edge of his seat, just alert if anytime the door bell would ring.

As he stared at the horrifying closed door, he admitted to himself.

“I am fucked.”

\---

“You look pale.” Jeno commented, still maintaining his holy space right outside the porch.

“Do I?” Jaemin said, trying to ignore his eyes at all cost. It was heart-fluttering, and he could have died anytime of a freaking heart stroke. “Are you sure that is not my normal skin color?”

“No comment.”

“What are we even talking about?” Jaemin grabbed the phone off the glass table, the same position it had been since the early evening. He had played an intimidating stare-down with that beautiful, slim brick all evening long, mind you. It was 6 in the afternoon, then, when Jeno had appeared in front of his apartment, letting Jaemin to buzz him in. Which Jaemin…was hesitating to.

“By the way, you took a hell of a time to buzz me in. Were you in the toilet?”

“Y-yes.” No, I was hyperventilating because now that I have realized I like you and somehow you look extra hot.

“That explains it.” Jeno gesticulated at his face, while Jaemin only puckered his lips, with a dead-panned stare.

Jaemin fetched his coat and hung it around his right arm, and the phone on sealed on his left. He crept towards Jeno, who was still leaning against the door jamb, scrutinizing him down. His eyes darted directly to the phone, before sighing to himself.

“Here.” Jaemin handed the phone over to Jeno,who loosely clipped it from the tip of his fingers. Jeno squinted at it, as if he was just handed over a foreign device.

“I bought you a phone.” Jaemin drawled, before passing by Jeno’s shoulder, who seemed shook a bit off his character. He continued, staring at Jaemin for a continuation of his prior statement, as if to explain the overall spontaneous splurge. Not to say, wasteful.

“This is a bit spontaneous.” Jeno commented, unable to draw any other words to explain how he felt at the heaviness of the mindless gift sitting on his palm. Jaemin said nothing and strode towards the lift, in search of an escape. He, too, had nothing else to say.

What he could he say anyway? _I bought you a phone, because I want to hear your voice very damn second. I didn’t like our invisible ‘in-ear’ (which is 1000 times cooler to be frank). I like you? The last one was the least plausible option to Jaemin right then._

“You think I’m not spontaneous?” Was what came out of Jaemin’s mouth instead. He couldn’t figure the perfect role to squeeze into, so he blabbered off to whatever he could string on the spot. (As you see, Jaemin wasn’t quite experienced on ‘on the spot’ situations)

“No-”

“I want to drive your car. Let me show you how spontaneous I am.”

“Can you even drive? Because, Jaemin even if a scratch manages…”

“I am just proving my statement!” Jaemin retorted louder, his words resounding through the empty corridor. The lift button wasn’t pressed, but there was a sign of the cubicle coming up,swishing them through that awkward burst of conversations.

“Okay…” Jeno divided his hand into his suit pocket, which Jaemin noted was the red hint to his all black suit. The key came out dangling, whistling in the air as it plopped onto Jaemin’s hands. Jaemin admitted, his hands were quivering in horror of being able to hold such pile of bucks onto his hand, in the form of two small keys. He wrapped his fingers into a fist, and finally pushed the button on the lift.

“Jaemin, I’m really warning-”

\---

“For such petty little gift you have given, I did exchange it with a more impressive one, right?” Jeno chuckled, as if it was meant to be humorous, but it didn’t entice much from Jaemin. He nervously tipped the ignition off, his legs rubbing against each other, truly warmed.

“I am kidding.” Jeno continued, the engine rumbled loudly yet swiftly under their soles, “I really liked the phone. It should be easier for me to contact you but you do realize…”Jaemin curved his fingers over the steering wheel, his shoes pressing on the accelerator slightly, “…that today is our last day.” With that wheels of the car jerked them front, as Jaemin left the caged up positions between the other two parked cars.

Jaemin pretended that he couldn’t hear it, escaping Jeno’s words swiftly. It reflected everything Jaemin didn’t want to expect, for which his guts were uncomfortably squirming inside. He blinked back his eyelids, letting it rest for second before peeling it open again, and he was presented with the lengthy road, lined up with glittering halogen lights above, elongate itself intimidatingly. His grip on the steering wheel tightened, and the sole of his boot pressed the acceleration deeper, as it dragged the car in front.

“Jaemin…” Jeno asked, flaunting he was awfully bored. Jaemin hummed, signaling that he had his ears opened, and his concentration sparse.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Is this the hot seat of questioning or something?”

“If you think so.”

“Okay. Shoot with whatever curiosity that is eating you.” Jaemin grinned, eyes stuck on the gravel of the road, and highlighting cars, “Also, it seems like the first time, you are asking me something instead of me, asking you.”

“Eh…”Jeno shrugged, “I can be curious too.” Jaemin let out a grumble of short-lived laughter, and turned to spare a glance at Jeno, before directing his gaze back on the road.

“Do you have a preference of, you know, customers? I mean the type of customers you like the most, that sorts.”

“Weird question. But, I would admit it is the type of FAQ I get mostly from my customers.” Jaemin dug his nails on the leather coating of the steering wheel, “I don’t get to have a preference. I mean it is not that am not allowed to, like I can get rid of aged males, or condescending perverts or just that weird kinky ones. If its makes me uncomfortable, mostly . But I can’t eliminate just whoever I want. But if I could really eliminate…I wouldn’t like the usual damsel in distress clogging up my schedule. More than sex, they cry. They expect me to take for care of them and if I do, they fall in love with me. They know there is a strict policy that I can’t do anything except going down on them, but they are really adamant, with the flower basket, bakery goods and designer clothes.” Jaemin took a deep breath in, because it seemed he had been holding it in for too long, “But I really like the one who usually are professional with what they do. Be it sex, or their usual careers. They leave with no feelings behind. I had a thing for nurses since I was a kid, generating from doctor themed movies I saw. So it is like a ideal type concept for me, a nurse. So if it is them…it is just more satisfying I guess.”

“That is much more of a long answer than I expected.”

“At least I gave you more than the one word answers you give me.”

Jeno smiled, before letting his finger scratch the leather cushion of seat.

“Do you still like nurses?”

“I don’t think so. I think what I have, now, a much more complicated ideal type for a lover.” And it is frustrating, dammit.

“Oh. Me too.” Jeno said, but Jaemin didn’t seem to notice. He continued to drive, and swerve along the cars. But then, a realization struck across Jaemin’s mind: I don’t even know where I am supposed to go.

“Jeno..”his tone dawned low enough to call Jeno with shivers, “I can’t control the car. I don’t know where we are heading.” The steering slipped under his tightened fists, undulating on the road upon its own desire, with Jaemin nervously shivering on the driver’s seat. Jeno, flickered his eyes left and right, in the same horror as if he knew what was going on.

“Jaemin, listen…you just keep holding the steering wheel until this maddening antic stops. For all I know, it’s all Queen’s doing.” Jeno leaned forward, and pulled on Jaemin’s safety belt and tried to calm him with some useless, “You will be fine.” It was as if, Jeno had expected it, and he knew that the car would go haywire and perhaps it would all simmer down once.

Jaemin then remembered, among his muddled brain, Jeno did mention of queen taking away his powers and also pulling a Fast and Furious movie on them. But the queen could only draw it then, when Jaemin was trying to suppress his bubbling feelings of romance and driving the car to prove his spontaneous disposition.

“Jaemin?” The car was still whistling through the, then empty highway, although at a mediocre speed.

“Huh?”

“You okay?”

“What do you expect?” Jaemin hissed.

“I thought my encouragements were working…” Jeno slapped his palms over Jaemin’s curled fists, and kept it there. If the roads weren’t dark as it was then, Jaemin’s glowing crimson cheeks would had been exposed shamelessly.

“If you could zip your mouth shut, perhaps then it could work.” Jaemin said, although he didn’t mean it to sound harsh. The fact was, he had totally lost his sense of control (he meant his own feelings, but the car could count too) of his words, his brain and his heart because finally…

“Whoa!” Jeno took a breath in, as the car jerked stop suddenly, even though Jaemin’s shoes were nowhere near the brakes. Jeno’s arms across Jaemin’s chest and the stretch off the suspenders of the car, Jaemin’s tip to the front was eliminated. Jeno however, had hit his chin on the steering wheel, causing a bump to appear on the spot. Jeno retrieved himself back to his seat, rubbing his chin with a scrunched up face.

But a few knocks onto their front hood was what broke the awkward silence hovering inside the car. Jaemin’s eyes stretched, with a horror slowly taking over his chest.

“Did we hit someone?” Jaemin asked, pretending to be unsure, because he didn’t want to hit someone on the first day, he ever played with Jeno’s car.

“I will check.” Jeno said, opening the door and stepped outside. Jaemin watched Jeno trail in front and crunch down, vanishing under the shadow of the headlights. After a minute or two, his finger appeared again waving. Jaemin didn’t know what he meant, so he sat for a while longer until Jeno came and knocked on his window.

“Hey!” His voice was muffled behind the glass, so Jaemin rolled the windows down.

“Don’t panic but…”

“Why should I panic?” Jaemin asked back, clearly panicking.

“But we did hit someone. She just sprained her ankle, so it is not a big deal. She escaped without scratches, but we do have to take her to a hospital.”

“Okay…I’ll unlock the back door.” Jaemin noted, and unlocked the back door. Jeno quickly met the girl sprawled on the streets in front, and hauled her up on his arms. Jaemin could see her then, her hair falling as a wavy curtain, hiding her facial features but left her petite figure on view. She was wearing an unusual white dress, unusual in means that in the middle of nowhere, in an empty highway, a young girl would walk wearing a white feathery dress, unless she was a cliched cinematic ghoul. But Jaemin suppressed his doubts, with a new found foolish jealousy of how Jeno was scooping the girl close to his chest. The girl inexplicably giggled as Jeno set her inside the car, and closed the door soon after.

Jeno came back and took his seat at the front, and permitted Jaemin to start the car.

“The hellish scrutiny of the queen…”Jeno said lowly, “is finally over, so now you can really drive my car. Peacefully.”

“How do you know?” Jaemin asked, stepping on the acceleration.

“Intuition. And partly because I know, queen wouldn't have stopped until or unless she made us hit someone.”

“That makes me feel 1000 times relieved.” Jaemin curled his tone sarcastically, heaving under his breath. The girl behind them was still giggling as they drove through the dimly wallowed highway, the winds caressing the tinted glass of the car. The silence disintegrated to the girl’s hushed introductions, as she prodded each of them of theirs.

“You guys are pretty handsome. You two are boyfriends?”

“No!” it was Jaemin who answered, abashed, because the mere thought of being in a relationship with an ephemeral entity seemed too much out of his comfort zone. On top of that, he was still coping with the fact that he was in love with that entity. Jeno was startled, and only informed the girl that they were acquaintances, with a benevolent smile of his. Jaemin and Jeno shared a look, before Jeno’s dour eyes darted away to the road ahead.

“This part of the city is often empty, and during the night time you see nothing just the lights of the highway. You don’t really expect cars running by. I was returning from a family thing right across the street until your car bumped on to me.”

“Sorry again for that.”

“No, it’s fine.” the girl brushed it off with a flap of her hand, after she rested her hands against the headrest of Jaemin’s seat, “You two are kind enough to actually drive me to the hospital.”

After that, it was pretty much the buzz of the car, and a few exchanges in between Jeno and the girl and the beating heartbeat of Jaemin’s. Jaemin was bizarrely edgy, his hands perspiring constantly as he took breaks to rub his hands on his coat. For small spares of time, Jaemin craned his neck to look at Jeno, and honestly he felt scared. He didn’t know exactly why.

The car smoothly parked among the empty parking garage situated just outside the hospital premises. There were few nurses in green scrubs hovering around, and one or two old, shriveled civilian in wheelchairs. Jaemin scrutinized the surroundings for a moment or so, before twisting back. The girl was already asleep against the comfort of the seat, her once nonsensical blabbering for the past half-hours reduced to soft sighs, as her chest fell and rose in rhythms. Jeno was looking at her too, heaving a strangled breath.

“So…should I do the honors?” Jeno said, flickering his eyes back to Jaemin. Jaemin straightened his lips, confused at what Jeno had meant.

“Honors of what…?”

“Carrying her inside.”

“It goes without saying…”Jaemin chuckled at Jeno’s ridiculed decision, “I should be the one taking her inside. I mean it was me, who hit her at the first place, right?”

Jeno stared at the lethargic figure of the gal, before curling the bow of his lips. Jeno darted his eyes back to Jaemin, before shifting to the front of his seat, his hand tugging the door handle.

“Where are you going?” Jaemin asked, but the door was shut before his sentence was even finished. “Jeno…”

The door opened at the back, the howls of air hitting the pale peripheral of the girl’s profile, and Jeno came in, bending his back. Jaemin watched Jeno, pull the girl carefully, taking a hold of her frail arms. Jaemin’s eyebrows scrunched in the middle, he couldn’t comprehend the burning sting at the tip of his tongue.

“Aren’t I supposed to carry-”

“Stay inside. I am going to take her in.” Jeno said simply, suckling his bottom lip in.

“Okay.” Jaemin complied. Jeno carefully wrung the girl’s arms around his nape, and hoisted the girl’s body against his chest, her legs hanging off Jeno’s arms. Jaemin watched it all unfold, his eyes unmoving before the door was shut and he watched their diminishing figure walk away towards the entrance.

Jaemin squirmed in his seat for a while, unable to placate himself for comfort. His fingers thrummed the steering wheel, to erase the stress stuck on the edges of his fingers and on the fold of his forehead. The bow of his lips straightened, tensed, before he lolled his head against the headrest.

As he darted his eyes along the window shield, his eyes met the familiar figure. The short hair, the loose labcoat, and an unusual hop at the end of her shoes. He knitted his eyebrows, focusing on the highlights of her shadow, before trailing his thoughts back to the day when he met that girl in the convenience store.

_“The salt girl!”_ Jaemin exclaimed to himself, shooting straight from his position. He remembered how he wanted her phone number that day, on the mere thought of her being ‘interesting’. he liked how she talked so, ‘swiftly’ and appeared more amiable than most people he met those days.

Tugging on the car handle, Jaemin threw the door open in haste, he couldn’t quite comprehend. It was as if his legs were following itself, on the search to step into her shadow and letting her know he was there. With air under each sole, he jogged towards her, as her walked close to the entrance.

“Hey!” Jaemin hollered, as the girl’s head swiped towards him. She squinted her eyes, pointing his finger mid-air, trying to recognize who he was.

“Oh, it’s you!” The girl screeched back, and breathed a chuckle. Jaemin smiled, and closed their distance with another step. With pants, intersecting his coherent sentence, he managed to say,

“Do you work here?”

“Completing my years of residency…”The girl trailed, eyeing Jaemin top to toe. She swirled her hand in the air, across his coat, “Isn’t this attire too fancy for a hospital?”

“I had some other work to attend to but I had unfortunately hit someone with my car.”

The girl elicited a small gasp before continuing to say, “Is he-”

“The person is a she…”

“Is she alright?”

“I guess so. I mean she only had her ankle strained. My friend…friend is with her.”

The girl nodded, looking down at her heels.

“Is your friend the guy from the store?” Her eyes met Jaemin’s, and he could not point the emotion floating on the black irises of hers.

“Yeah. He is.” Jaemin let the silence followed before saying, “I like him. I do.”

“Oh.” She grinned amusingly, “See, I knew it from before.”

“Yeah, you did.” Silence settled in, and either of them had nothing to add. The fact that Jaemin wanted to ask for her number totally slipped off his mind. After a while, she inhaled the crisp air of the night before letting the silence go.

“I must go.” She took a glance off her watch, “My break ended a while ago so…I don’t want want to be reprimanded.”

“Yeah,” Jaemin flapped his hands, “Go. Bye.”

Before the girl could smudge away from under his shadow, Jaemin caught her with a mumble. He knew it would be too prodding if he asked for her number abruptly so he let the thought disperse on its own. He was not spontaneous after all.

“Could you tell me your name before you go?”

“Krystal.” The girl said, before turning away on her heels, and trudged further away. Jaemin watched her little back get smaller, before he returned back beside Jeno’s car to wait.

Jaemin didn’t mind the mellow solitary he was engulfed under, along the rustle of the wet grass under his sole or the feathery breeze that came and went. With his hand drowned in the pockets of his suit, he was only missing a stick in between his lips, and he could consider for a while, that everything was alright. However, to his utter dismay, nothing wasn’t.

His hands wrapped around his phone, and his fingers jerked up as it started vibrating. Releasing from the confinements of his pockets, he rested the screen against his ears, and expected.

“Hey.” It was the voice of Jeno’s, a bit thicker than it usually sounds.

“Hi. Having fun with the new phone?”

“I guess so. I mean I was poking around the functions and read the whole terms and conditions, before I could manage a call. My in-ear is much easier.”

“It isn’t an in-ear…”Jaemin mused, “It’s just telepathy.”

Jeno hummed, as if shrugging on the other side.

“I still have some formalities to complete, so I’ll be back in 15. Make yourself busy with the radio inside the car.”

“I will.” Jeno halted, and let Jaemin hear the rustle on the other side. The screeches of the doctor, muffled gossips of the nurses and the beeping sounds of the unimaginable machines there could be. Jaemin could feel himself, standing on the edge and thinking that the pause was the chance to confess.

“Jeno-”

“Oh the doctors are calling me. Do what I told you, and don’t stand outside in the cold, okay?”

“I’m not a kid. I can do whatever I want.” With that he ended the call, and returned to the warmth of the leather inside. He turned on the stereo, and the songs of the 80s came filtering through, letting the air heavy with scratches of the guitars and sighs of himself.

Jeno returned after accurately 15 minutes, fumbling with the handles of the car door, waking Jaemin from his doze. It was the same excursion back home, and Jaemin wasn’t sure if he could handle it. With a click of his fingers, he gestured Jeno to come by the other side and opened the door, taking in the whirls of antiseptic reek from Jeno.

“Drive back home.” Jaemin said, before he headed to the passenger door, and sat back in. Jeno entered the car, and twisted the ignition, speeding through the garage. Jaemin looked outside the tinted window, his mind wandering around the harrowing thought that, the drive, Jeno driving the car, the dimly lit yellow lights of the streets, it would be a part of his past once he reached home.

Surprisingly, he wasn’t ready to let it go like that.

“Jeno…” Jaemin let his head reclined against the window, looking directly at him. Jeno didn’t look back, as usual, and let his hands turn and swerve the steering wheel. Jaemin let his eyes hover a while, before looking away and crossing his hands on his chest. He contemplated on the words that was going to slip out of his lips in a while, letting his lips wet due to the nervousness shivering inside.

_“I am sorry.”_ Jeno blurted, and Jaemin was taken aback, snapping his eyes back on him.

“Why?”

“Just because. I know I have said a lot of times before, but today, I am sincerely apologizing.”

“Is this ‘Just because’ a replacement for something you are hiding?”

Jeno hesitated, evident by how his lips sunk back.

“Yeah,” he said, before stumbling, “K-kind of.”

Jaemin tried to disregard the atmosphere that was growing to take the space between them, with a sigh. The road was cinching closer, and his house was only a few turns away. The sky graduated to deep indigo, beckoning the rise of the sun in the far horizon. Jaemin thought to himself, there was no chances except then, to present his vulnerable self.

Just until he reached home, he would keep it inside.

Closing his eyes shut, deliberated how everything could turn out to be an apocryphal dream of his, and how it he would miss it if it did. Jaemin remembered how he balked at the idea, that Jeno was a cupid, taking his time off his regular fidelity to cure Jaemin of whatever foolish curse he was bestowed with. But then, inside the car, with the curtain of the dawn, the cloying feelings of love were blossoming inside him, tearing his heart out.

“We are here.” Those were the words, Jaemin didn’t wish to hear, at least not then. He kept his eyes squeezed shut, to magically appear to the night when Jeno bought him home. Jeno poked his arms, thinking if he was asleep before letting his finger stay on the material of his purple suit, caressing it.

“Wake up, Jaemin.”

Peeking one eye open, Jaemin was welcomed to the bright glare of the sun, but not the night he expected. He turned his head right, looking directly at Jeno, pushing the hand away from his arms and letting it slip away. Jaemin kept his eyes stuck on Jeno, craning his whole body to face him.

“Could you tell me sorry again?” Jaemin asked, abstaining his will to break down.

“What?”

“Just tell me sorry again.”

Jeno was confused, as he let his hands tug on the hem of Jaemin’s coat, and Jaemin watched it crawl to his skin, before folding it in his grip.

“I am sorry.”

Jaemin took his strength to tug Jeno towards him, and land his lips on his in a long-awaited kiss. He couldn't register what he was doing, letting his lips nestle on the gap in between Jeno’s. His eyes closed shut, his finger curling inside Jeno’s collars, taking a hold of the smell of lavender flutter inside him, painting a permanent scar. Jaemin moved his lips finally, kissing the upper lips, before trailing to the side and leaving a chaste print on his skin. To Jaemin’s utter surprise, Jeno kissed him back with the same sentiment of fervour, wrapping his arms around Jaemin’s waist, and pulling him in, smothering him with his shadow. The kiss escalated to an exchange of hasty farewell, a messy one at that, as both of them couldn’t get enough of the contact of their pulses. Jaemin moved on smooching Jeno’s lips tightly, as his finger curled around his nape, as if he would disappear if he let go. Jeno reciprocated his wants with an embrace of his arms around his torso, his kisses fervently sucking Jaemin off his breath.

“Don’t go.” Jaemin silently said to himself, since he knew Jeno wouldn’t hear it. But before Jaemin could comprehend, the kisses were soon curtailed with an unwanted distance and stony pull of Jeno’s face. It was as if he could hear what Jaemin had said.

Jaemin could feel the emptiness of Jeno’s arms around his waist, as the latter’s arms returned back to the steering wheel, and his eyes stuck on the scenery elsewhere. Jaemin felt embarrassed, as heat rose to his cheeks, his fingers itching to rake through Jeno’s nape again. The persistent thought of kissing him stayed back to the knot of his throat.

“I need to go.” Jeno said softly, before looking at Jaemin again, “So you need to head back to your apartment.”

“I…” Jaemin took a breath in.

“Okay.”

Opening the door, Jaemin walked away because he knew he didn’t have any courage inside him to dissuade Jeno from leaving him. Jaemin still needed to say _he liked him._


	4. one more night

_Pain._ It was what Jaemin felt, covered within his blankets, legs wrapped together in a twist and fingers numb. Jaemin didn’t break down crying, sobbing over the lost opportunity to pour his heart out, but rather he was in his bed contemplating if he should try calling Jeno, even if he knew his rasps would go unnoticed.

Jaemin scratched his hair-line, before trailing his finger down to his lips, pressing the fingerprints against his lips. Jaemin was sure he didn’t imagine Jeno kissing him, holding him close with the same desperation he felt. But the sudden pull of his arms, the monotonous voice letting him go, was what muddled Jaemin’s mind.

Jaemin sighed, trying to grasp the reality that was in front of him, as he threw the blankets off his legs and decided to go for work. Even though, with the current state he was, he couldn’t do a single act of working, but he could,if Renjun permitted, arrange the files at the front desk and take in calls.

But all of the resolutions he made to attempt, was dwelling on the fact that Jeno would return. There was no chance of it ever occurring, but for the first time in a long time, Jaemin deemed it would be better to hope. Jaemin was being impervious to what happened that same morning but he couldn’t deal with it, at least not then.

Not when he still had feelings, bubbling inside of him like it did a few days ago.

Jaemin took a lengthy showers, letting the water trace down his body, satiating him of the edginess he had been in. He swiped over his eyelids a couple of time, timorous of crying as he convinced himself that he wouldn’t cry. The way Jeno left, wasn’t the same as when _Kim_ left.

But he knew well, Renjun would say otherwise.

“So he just left?” Renjun sucked in through his straw, a bribe Jaemin bought for him to stay calm. Somewhat a pacifier for a baby to stop crying, but the drink was more of a pacifier for Renjun to not burst into flames of rage.

“Right.” Jaemin nodded.

“You both kissed for the first time…”Renjun took a deep breath in, “…and what it seems the last time.”

“It is not the last time.” Jaemin placated himself and it made Renjun shake his head in the deliberate obliviousness Jaemin was shrouding in.

“But he didn’t call you, he didn’t say if he will ever come back, you don’t know where he lives, what he does…You know I could pull up a floor long list of the reasons you shouldn’t stay in this fantasy of him coming back.” Renjun handed back the drink to Jaemin to take a sip, “You know how meaningless fantasies take the best of you.

The truth was intransigent, Jaemin realized, once it came bold and audible from Renjun’s mouth. He knew it would be puerile to hang on the fact, Jeno felt the same as him. He could only imagine, so he decided to keep it locked at the corner of his mind.

“So…?” Renjun asked, stacking up the files on top of each other, for Jaemin to work through.

“Yeah. You are right.”

Taking up the first file, he flipped through the appointments and orders, ripping sticky notes and scribbling formalities on them. Jaemin felt he would feel much more satisfied if he could just work like that, without the complications of sleeping with any woman that came through the door. A smile curved his lips, as Renjun stood beside him, instructing him on every notes he should write and the colour coordination he should follow.

A thought took form in his mind, of visiting the same hospital from last night and taking Krystal for a whirl. Perhaps, he could get inured to the fact that Jeno wouldn’t return like that.

“Okay!” Jaemin waved back through the closed glass door of the brothel, “Bye!”

“Bye!” Renjun mouthed back, with a soft grin on his face, and flutter of his hands.

Jaemin walked to the bus stand, an antic he didn’t perform for days, and somehow warmth grew inside him, after living through his old inveterate duties. He leaned against the seat under the shed of the bus stand, waiting for the vehicle to present itself in a matter of 5 minutes. He hooked his fingers around the hem of his sleeves, stroking the material in between his finger pads.

Closing his eyes, the vestige of the night he spent with Kim, during the last night came flooding back. Kim had presented Jaemin with two beer bottles, straight line of his lips on his wrinkled face, the illumination of the expensive light highlighting the gray strands of his hair.

_How did he move on then?_ He doesn’t much of it, the memories scurried as fast as it came.

Once he rode the bus, he halted his poisonous pondering of the past and tapped through his phone, deleting Jeno’s number from his phonebook. It made cringe in discomfort, but it was what he should do, if he had to move on.

Twisting the front handle of the door, it reminded him of the day Jeno first came in, to take him for their first ride together. Even if it was a few days away, Jaemin could see himself slowly trying to disintegrate each of the sentiment strung with it. He didn’t want to, he had to.

His apartment was enveloped in darkness as he gaped the door open, carefully stepping in. Throwing his shoes at the front porch, he padded towards the corner to switch the lights on.

“You are late.” Someone had eerily whispered close to his ear, letting the air breath to his drums. Jaemin’s heart jumped inside his ribcage as he slowly turned back, without letting out a gasp of fear. He started to think the worst; a murderer, the weird neighbour next door wanted to kill him or was it the girl from the brothel, who was too out of her mind for society.

Once he turned he came face to face with indeed a woman, shorter than him, wearing a pink pleated skirt and a crop tee to go along with it. Squinting his eyes, he squeezed closer to the wall, trapped in between the space left.

“Who are you?” Jaemin mumbled, his hand reaching for anything close to save himself from the catastrophe that was going to happen. The corner of her lips only tugged wide, letting out an airy chuckle.

“Your worst nightmare!” The girl laughed, before adding a ‘Boo!’ causing Jaemin to flinch. Jaemin wasn’t great with jumpscares, for your information.

“Should I call the security or…?” Jaemin managed to say in a quiver, his eyes stuck on the face of the girl, as the horror grew inside him.

“Eh…no.” She shrugged, twirling away towards the kitchen and popping open the fridge.

“Do you have some beer?” She handled one bottle out, screwing the top open. She gulped the drink in one shot, letting out a sigh of satisfaction after she threw it in the nearest bin. Jaemin was fixated in his stance, watching the events unfold. The fact that he should call the security rung in his ears, but for some reason he couldn’t act on it.

“Ah…”The girl walked to the sofa, jumping on the cushions and took up a pose, “I forgot to introduce myself. Goodness me, I am intruding in your house, took up a beer but didn’t even introduce myself.”

Jaemin darted his eyes towards the girl, as she slipped against the sofa, lying on the pillows. Their eyes met, and that was when Jaemin realized,

“It’s me…”

Jaemin rolled his eyes then, “Queen…Obviously.”

**_“Obviously.”_** She imitated in a mocking growl, before bubbling in giggles.

“So you can shapeshift?”

“Did you think I’ll go around showing people my real formation?” Racking through her hair, she mumbled, “Oh please.”

“What do you want?” Jaemin took a seat on the chairs kept beside the dinner table, facing her with curiosity glowing in his face. Jaemin knew there wasn’t anything more he could do, he had done what he was ordered and his duties were finally finished. All that was left was for the _queen_ to return him what he had lost; a normal life.

“If you are thinking about what else I could tell you do for humiliating me, I could lists tons. The duties you did last few days, were an obligation and in short, you had no choice.” She raised her one leg over the other, “However, I am letting you go since you are currently disrupting the rules we have. I won’t tell you how, but you are.”

“Okay.”

“No, it’s not okay.” She reasoned silently, “For that, you must have sex with me. I can’t just let you off the hook without you giving something to me.”

“What about Jeno?” Jaemin was itching to ask, and he couldn't help but the name off his tongue.

“Jeno…you know, he was one of my favourite spawns. I gave him everything he needed, and all he gave me was ruckus of a life and you. Fucking you. He was about to be banished because of you, do you have any inkling about that?” Queen’s voice dropped low, as rage and frustration carried her words with authority.

“No.”

Queen raised herself from the initial positions and seated herself straight, judging the face Jaemin had been wearing. Her lips quivered a little bit, her tongue peeking in to lick it.

“Let’s go down on each other before it gets late, okay?” She asked, and Jaemin nodded. Jaemin convinced himself that it was just like any other night in the brothel, and the dillydally of his simple would return again. He could just ignore the idiosyncrasy of the Queen, and do it.

But obviously, he couldn’t completely expunge the fact that Jeno was still there. Somewhere, no matter how he tried to suppress it.

“Can I ask you something before we do it?”

Queen was already removing her top, revealing her porcelain skin, contrasting with a pink brassiere. She stopped, and looked at him, with a dour tug of her expression.

“I-I…like Jeno.”

“Here we go.”

“No…listen to me, just let me spend a day, only a day with Jeno again. I just want to tell him something…I swear it’s only that.”

She looked at him for a while, and Jaemin didn’t dare to speak up.

“Yes.” She cast her eyes down to her feet, “Yes, you can. But I must warn you of the adversity of the wish you are seeking from me…it’s not easy.”

“Thank you.”

Queen took a deep inhale, as her partially naked chest rose up and down. Jaemin followed her movements, and slowly unbuttoned his shirt as well. Trudging towards her, he stopped centimeters away, and their skin almost touching, sending bizarre impulses along Jaemin’s vein. It hadn’t been a while he had sex, and it was burdening to think about it even. He didn’t care for his nether regions, whether it was going to be alright or not, or whether he would be able to go to work…but he just wondered, where Jeno was. Jaemin wanted to him to be there, again, enclosed in that car and listen to that silence left between them.

“You need to kiss me, you know?” She said, and to Jaemin’s surprise, she seemed almost vulnerable, even though Jaemin hadn’t had the audacity to turn her down.

“O-okay.” Moving her thumb over to her face, he scratched the edge of her jaw with his thumb and tilted his head, slowly moving down. His heart was the tip of his tongue, and he could hear the cars outside whistling, his heart palpating close to his ears and everything darken as he closed his eyelids.

“Wait.” She plastered her hands on his chest, pushing him away, “I think Jeno is here. You need to go.”

“Jeno?” Jaemin stumbled backwards, “Where is he?!” Everything came to the soles of his feet which wanted to take off, as soon as it could because he wanted to see him. His whole body was itching to hold him in, to see that face, and to kiss those lips.

Jaemin wanted to tell him he _loved him._

“He is coming. Go downstairs.” She gravely said, bending down to pick up her top. Jaemin noticed he never looked at her carefully, at her distinctive features, because all of it was confusing blur. “Hurry.” She added, crunching down still.

Jaemin let the Queen in his apartment, rushing towards the front door. Wringing the handle open, he stepped outside, taking deep breaths in. With the front door still open, he turned back to announce his gratitude once before leaving but when he did, Queen had already left, leaving his apartment empty without a sign of anybody even being there.

But Jaemin could care less, his heart strings were still tugging towards the fact Jeno was there, downstairs. He ran for the lift, tapping the button successively, as if pressing numerous of times would make the lift magically come up. But Jaemin couldn’t wait; tapping his feet on the carpet, the goosebumps on his naked top as his hands plunged into his pocket.

The lift dinged open, and Jaemin slipped in with a swipe of his bare feet, impatiently pressing the button for the lobby. His fingers were cringing, the words were already there heating up his hot cavern, drying his throat.

“Finally.” Jaemin sighed, as the lift opened to the designated floor with an annoying ding!, and Jaemin dashed to the front lobby, which was obviously empty of souls. The huge clock hung on the side, marked the time of 1 in the night. Jaemin’s short breaths were the only sound audible along with the…

…soft pads of shoes behind him.

“Jaemin why are you naked?”

When Jaemin looked back, Jeno was there, as real as he could be. Jaemin was caught off guard, no matter how much of a buzzkill the comment was. All Jaemin could think of was the smile Jeno was wearing then, along with enthralling choice of suits, paired with indigo pants contrasting with his fair skin.

Jaemin let his shoulders slope, shivering inside, because all the feelings came surging back to him in breaking waves. Jaemin wanted to hold him close, so he did. He ran for Jeno, circling his arms around his waist, as he placed his head on his shoulder. Jaemin didn’t cry, neither he threw any cheeky comments, he just remained paused in his embrace, relishing that moment with all he had.

But Jaemin choked up a bit inside, when Jeno enclosed Jaemin tightly in his arms. Jeno laid his chin among the tousled hair of his, pressing a soft kiss. Jeno tickled his finger on Jaemin’s nape, smiling onto his scalp.

“Hey…”Jeno mumbled coarsely, letting his thumb stroke his skin, “I missed you too.”

“I think…”Jaemin said, carding his nails on the edge of his suit, “I know…I know that you missed me.”

“Glad that our in-ear is till working.” Jeno laughed lightly, pulling on Jaemin’s ears to which Jaemin only punched his waist. Everything was nearly pellucid, and Jaemin knew what Jeno felt for him. Jaemin only tightened his hold on his waist, and grinned against the rough indigo hued fabric of his suave suit.

Jaemin pulled away after a minute or two and looked at Jeno directly. He noted his every feature, his nose, ruddy cheeks, the small mole at the side of his eyes and the slant of his jaw. He wanted to kiss every part of his skin, and he trailed his eyes from his collarbone to his hair, he noticed.

“Your hair…”Jaemin twisted the strands in between his fingers, “It’s brown.”

“What do you mean?”

Jeno managed to peek, rolling his eyes upwards and his lips curved down. Jeno’s eyebrows furrowed, lips trembling…and slowly Jeno looked back at Jaemin with an inexplicable expression.

“What did you wish for?” He asked Jaemin, his voice experiencing a nuance of tone, as it escalated to a stolid growl.

“I just…I just wished for you. I wished that you could return and that we could spend-” Jaemin was cut short as Jeno caught him close to his chest, embracing him again, “-one more day.”

“Thank you.” Jeno mouthed against Jaemin’s ear cartilages, puckering a small kiss under his ear lobe. Jaemin held Jeno close to him, time ticking slow and breaths mingling in the air-conditioned air of the lobby.

“Do you want to go back to my apartment?”

“Yeah.” Jeno nodded, after stretching himself from the embrace, but left his hands hooked on Jaemin’s wrists, playing with the rivers of veins with the tip of his fingers. Jaemin’s lips tilted on the corners, Jeno reflecting his expression with the same chord of satisfaction.

Holding Jeno’s hand, Jaemin pulled him in the direction of the lift, before pushing the button without a spike of urgency, because all it mattered that Jeno was there. Beside him, in existence.

Jeno looked at him, before asking,

“Do you want my coat? You look cold.”

“Ah...” Jaemin chuckled, “It’s fine actually. I really am not that cold.”

“Did my…”Jeno patted his chest, and imitated circling his arms around empty air, “…hugs work that good?”

“Don’t fool yourself.” Jaemin huffed, a small smirk hiding under his taut lips. Jeno rested his chin on the crevice of Jaemin’s shoulder, letting his arms slither itself on the cinch of waist, palms patting his stomach.

“How about now?” Jeno blew warm air on his skin, peppering kisses on width of his back. Jaemin could feel his blood coming to the surface with a rush, taking a hold of all his sanity, his adrenaline drumming within his body.

“Are you already going down on me here?” Jaemin rasped, pinching Jeno’s finger to stop whatever he was doing.

“Nope. I was just teasing.” Jeno only tightened his hold around his belly, “But, if you aren’t wearing my jacket anyway, let me at least hold you. I don’t want you to get cold.”

“Right. _Cold._ ”

Opening the door to his apartment, Jeno reluctantly stepped inside, eyes wandering around the ceilings, furniture and paraphernalia sprawled along the floor. Jeno exhaled through his nose loudly, tearing off his boots on the porch, visibly anxious.

Jaemin watched him, Jeno being inanely nervous about entering his house. Biting his own lips, he inched his own hand towards Jeno, for him to wrap his fingers about. Jeno held it, and stepped in, breaching the personal space he always tried to push away.

“Hey, it’s just me.” Jaemin assuaged with slid of his hands up and down on Jeno’s arms.

“Yeah, it’s just you. But I-” Jeno looked down to his unclad feet, touching the cold wooden floor, “-I am not used to this.”

“It’s okay.” Jaemin tried to convince Jeno with flutters of his fingers across his cheek , dancing down to his jaw, to let him slowly exit his stance of discomfit. Jaemin knew how quandary that jiffy of a change must had felt, even if how impassive Jeno must had tried to look. Despite the beaucoup amount of times, Jeno came close to his apartment, he never once stepped his foot in, perhaps due to the burden that might had been weighing on his shoulders.

“I hope so.”

“So…”Jaemin wanted to stop that period circumlocution, and step right onto what he had been ignominiously deeming about, “…Do you want to get out of your suit soon? You were pretty impatient while we were down below.”

“No.” Jeno said, although he was wriggling out of his suit, leaving him in a crisp shirt of purple, sticking close to this chest. Jaemin let his hand hang around Jeno’s waist, hooking his finger inside the waistband of his dress bands as he tried to tow it down. Tilting his jaw, and cradling Jeno’s face in the cup of his hands, he chastely kissed Jeno’s lips, with affection embossing his every movement.

Jeno reciprocated with the same passion, letting his thumb sensually circle on Jaemin’s navel, carding his nails on the pudgy skin there. He suckled on Jaemin’s upper lips, the harmony of their lips locking each other, resounded in the atmosphere of the apartment. With care, Jaemin unbuttoned Jeno’s shirt, escaping his torso from the confinements, scraping his nails softly on his bare chest.

“Did you apply a glitter lotion or whatever? Your skin…” Jaemin scrutinized the unusually, golden sheath glowing from the slit of his shirt. Jeno chortled a bit, before shaking his head to a ‘No’.

“Is it the same…”Jaemin lowered his eyes to his dress pants, wondering if he should say it.

“Yes!” Jeno answered, almost proudly which earned a soft slap on his bum.

“Good.” Jaemin continued peppering kisses along his chiseled cheek bones, before devouring his lips once again. Jeno squeezed him close to his chest, the contact with his cold skin sent impulses following Jaemin’s back to his lower regions. Muffling the sounds of desperation, with their lips stuck and tongues tied around each other, Jeno softy hoisted Jaemin up, as the latter’s legs framed his hips.

Jeno laid Jaemin softly on the couch, as he judged the mayhem state Jaemin was trapped in; short of breath, his hands clawing on the shirt that loosely hung around his own shoulders. With that Jeno had lost every bit resistance, and delved down to own Jaemin’s lips in an erotic swirl of kisses and saliva, biting and lapping his prints. He slowly trailed down in chaste kisses, devouring the delicate skin in his mouth, suckling on the sparse moles that had appeared.

Jaemin watched it unravel, the mayhem of Jeno’s conscience, evinced from his exigent smooches yet his tentative embrace of his body told Jaemin how ephemeral that moment was. Rubbing his thumb over Jeno’s cheeks, he pulled him in, thinking if he wanted that moment to last long enough, he had replenish every fleeting second of it.

The sensuality of sex, was what Jaemin hadn’t felt for a long time. The romance tangling each and every kiss, nips of skin,the feathery touches of his arm as Jeno, kept his gaze on him while gifting the pleasure of sex. Time went on, and Jaemin hadn’t had the chance of catching onto it, because he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to think about it, even, looping every one of his thoughts there and for Jeno.

Rasping out the name of the one Jaemin loved, clutching his arms, he worded everything he wanted to say. “I love you” was whispered on his collarbone, carrying the symphony of his feelings he reached out, taking Jeno on to his chest and exposing everything he had kept inside.

“Don’t you think it is too early for you too confess?” Jeno rumbled and Jaemin’s crest fell down, but Jeno soon pacified with a quick laugh afterwards.

“I am kidding!” Jeno continued to draw circles on Jaemin’s bum, “I love you too, you know.”

“I know.” It was flash of ardour floating around them, in between their words, their finger gaps and the words they spoke. Jaemin decided to tell about the abrupt appearance of Queen a few hours back.

“She just came in, took a beer, drank it, opened her clothes and asked me to kiss her…”Jaemin took a breath, trying his best to summarize, “I went for it, and suddenly she stopped and told me you were downstairs. I was really bewildered with how escalating the events were. That is the best I could squeeze all those that happened.” Jaemin purposely left out the part of Jeno’s banishment.

“Oh.” Jeno rested his chin on Jaemin’s chest, listening carefully.

“That’s it? Just ‘Oh’…”

Jeno shrugged, “I mean there wasn’t much I expected her to do, than exactly that. She is much more brusque with people who really go against her rules, which you did. But the fact, she let you go, isn’t exactly what’s right here. She doesn’t do that. If she wants to have sex, and undresses even, she will do that.” Jeno was silent for a while before adding, “At least she gave your dick back.”

“Shut up!” Jaemin said, enticing a cackle from Jeno. There was a pregnant pause, the tick of the clock aggrandizing the deciduous time. Jeno stood up with some grunts, stripped of any clothing, as Jaemin tried to wander his eyes elsewhere.

“Seriously…” Jeno said, shaking his head, “You are naked too, for God's sake.”

“Well, it’s just…” Heat rose up to his cheeks, heating his skin. With how ostentatious Jeno’s genitalia was on display, he couldn’t help it.

“Let’s go to bed okay?” Jeno offered his hand for support, and Jaemin wrapped his hand round his hand as he braced himself to sit up. But the sore muscle stretching itself, broke down Jaemin’s strength to properly stand up.

“Can’t you stand up?” Jeno asked worriedly, sitting on his hunches, examining Jaemin’s knees with soft massage of his palms.

“No…I guess it’s been a while since I last had sex with a guy. On the other hand, my exercise has gone haywire these couple of months. “

“Plus, you fell down a couple of days ago.”

“How do you know that?”

“I just do.” Jeno smiled, before focusing back on Jaemin’s legs, pulling it in and out.

“Can I…” Jeno met Jaemin’s eyes, and for the first time Jaemin could read what he Jeno was thinking, without the silly ‘in-ear’.

“Yes, you can carry me.” Jaemin strained the words playfully, before patting Jeno arms to hoist him up. Jeno slipped his arms under Jaemin, carrying him close to his chest, as Jaemin intentionally pinched his shoulders, out of antic. Jeno let out an exaggerated groan, twirling Jaemin in a full circle as the latter’s giggle filled out the void of the room.

“Tell me something.”

“Yes?”

“You were jealous when I carried that girl out of the car, weren’t you?”

“Kind of, if it makes you feel any better.”

“It does make me feel better, thank you.” Jaemin only pulled Jeno’s ears, as a mere punishment.

Jeno snuggled close to Jaemin, laying his head on his shoulders, humming to a odd harmony. Jaemin scrunched his nose, sniffling, before drawing the blankets over their tangled bodies.

“What are you humming to?”

“A song. The song is mostly played during the ceremony we have, when we are, you know, assigned our roles and duties as a cupid. I really can’t remember the whole song, I just remember the tune. It’s been a while since I have been there.”

“Do you like being a cupid?”

“I don’t necessarily love it. I really don’t have any choice, but there is this satisfaction you have after connecting people that you really forget the part that you are obliged to do that. You get it?”

“No. Not really.” The clock read close to 3 at night but Jaemin didn’t mind anymore, “Did you have someone you just couldn’t connect? Like you knew that person wasn’t right for the other...”

“I did, actually.”

“Did the authorities reprimand you for that?”

“No. I guess not.” Jeno folded Jaemin’s hands inside his fist, under the blanket, and chastely kissed a part of his shoulder. Jaemin craned his neck to capture Jeno’s lips for a kiss, as he nibbled softy on the latter’s lips.Jeno picked up the pace, tickling Jaemin’s upper lips with his, suckling on his tongue erotically.

“Okay, enough.” Jaemin pushed Jeno, his palm against the latter’s chest, “Let’s save some of it for the rest of the day.”

“But I don’t want to sleep.” Jeno whined, holding Jaemin’s wrist of the hand that was stuck his chest.

“Why?”

“I don’t want to waste any more time.”

“We don’t have to…”Jaemin carded through his tanned hair, “Let’s just sleep.”

But in a way, Jaemin didn’t want to sleep either. With Jeno’s hand coiled around his waist, Jaemin watched Jeno sleep, exposing his vulnerability, which he never expected to see. His puckered lips, hair shadowing over his eyelids, the inaudible whimpers, Jaemin wanted to memorize them for all. However, then again, he didn’t know how he could survive with all those memories ingrained in him, without a way to relive them again.

Jaemin didn’t sleep that night, and he felt guilty of telling Jeno to doze off. Holding Jeno’s nape, he crept closer to kiss Jeno’s forehead, marking the words of “I love you” on to his skin. Jaemin really did love him, and he didn’t know, for sure, if he would fall in love like that again.

Jaemin thought of all the things he wanted to do with Jeno, if he had all the time in the world. Raising pets, stealing kisses every then, having sex in the shower, walking down the beach and dancing together to random songs (their songs). If he could, he would marry Jeno, lose his job and just grow old on the porch, reminiscing about the time they had. But only that, if the present they were spending, wasn’t such an encumbrance.

\---

“Up!” Jaemin poked Jeno’s shoulder, causing him to squirm in grogginess, “Up! Up!”

“No…come back to bed with me.” Jaemin was tugged from his position at the edge of the bed to lie awkwardly on Jeno’s chest.

“You know…”Jaemin slyly trailed, knocking his finger nails on Jeno’s chest, “If you aren’t waking up now, we can’t have sex in the shower.”

“We are having sex in the shower?” Jeno snapped his eyes open, his voice rising to a high pitch.

“I guess so…” Jaemin teased, raising his eyebrows, letting his finger hover over the blanket, on the verge of ripping it off.

“You and your stealthy ways.” Jeno caught Jaemin’s nose in between his bony fingers, giving them a squeeze.

“I have my fun with it.” Jaemin winked before finally tugging the light material off Jeno’s body. Messy hands, bites on his neck, kisses chasing down his arms, with the water ricocheting on the wet tiles, Jaemin deemed there was nothing at all that could emulate the adulation of the performance. Jaemin had his back stuck on the glass of the bathroom cubicle, and Jeno scattered kisses on any inch of skin he had missed, luring all the croaks from Jaemin’s dry throat.

“Next…”Jaemin said, choosing from the array of options he had listed last night, “we are commencing to a pet shop.”

“Why…?” Jeno asked, irritation apparent from his tone. He was throwing on one of Jaemin’s (casual) shirts, with a rather tight skinny jeans Jaemin had picked up for him. Jeno didn’t really like Jaemin’s preference, but it could only produce another 5 minutes of banter which they agreed to avoid.

“To pet cats. Dogs.”

“I don’t really like animals, you see.” Jeno grimaced, stomping his feet with childish irritation.

Well, all had changed once Jeno had entered the pet shop, eyes twinkling and hands curled into fists. There were some cats just strolling close their legs, wrapping their tails around their ankles, and Jaemin couldn’t help but bend down to stroke their belly. However, when Jaemin diverted his eyes to see where Jeno was gone (because the eerie silence that pressed down made him wonder if he had run away) and he found him drowned in white and gray fur of cats, each of them hanging down his crossed-legs, kitten climbing on his back and another soft sack like one upper the grip of his palms.

“Jaemin, look…” Jeno pointed out to a particular cat, which was sinking its teeth in his knees caps, “…what this adorable creature is doing.”

“You are having fun.”

“Oh…I love these.” Jeno’s cheekbones rose, before he held one cat high up in the air, rocking it from side to side. Jaemin, stood up and joined Jeno by his side, and played with the kittens as he spared glances at Jeno often to remember that moment.

Jaemin slapped Jeno’s arms, when he figured it was time to go.

“Come on…”Jaemin tried to pull Jeno’s arms, but he was too entranced by the litter of kitten, that he didn’t want to go. With a grunt, Jaemin pulled the kitten off his lap, because they too were equally interested in Jeno as if he was soaked in catnip), with each of them crying, and clawing on to his arms.

“Jeno…we are losing time.” Jaemin didn’t want to say it, but it slipped his tongue before he could suppress it in. Jeno looked at him, with an impassive gaze, and sighed. He carefully carried one of the kittens off his lap, and rubbed it’s back before he let go of it.

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“Do you suppose I can take one of these creatures with me?”

Jaemin linked his arms round Jeno’s, and dragged him out of the pet shop. Jaemin pressed a small kiss at the corner of his lips, internally screeching as to how cute Jeno was.

“Can you take care of it?”

\---

Next on Jaemin’s list was pretty simple, it was to visit the nearest beach, lay down on the sand for a couple of hours and dance to some songs he stayed up all night to memorize. But with how spontaneous he proved he was to Jeno a few nights before, came haunting back as Jeno requested, again as a 5 year old child, to visit the carnival held near the beach.

“I never rode those before.” Jeno pointed at one of the rollercoaster undulated high up in the sky, as Jaemin tried to catch the cart of people moving up and down. Jaemin slipped out of his leather jacket, as the heat phased from a warm to a boiling temperature.

“Of course you didn’t. You think you can handle it?”

“I am supernatural creature, of course I can handle it.”

“You are human now, Jeno.” Jaemin said smugly, before pushing Jeno by the shoulder in direction of the ticket booth. The man in the booth looked at them with slit eyes, under the shed and cleared his throat.

“Two tickets please.” Jaemin gestured popping two of his fingers. Jeno looked at him, and imitated the same gesture, before showing it to the man. Jaemin laughed and elbowed Jeno's side, and told him to lower his hands down.

“You don’t need to do that too.”

“Oh.” He quickly shoved his hands in his pant’s pocket, catching another laugh from Jaemin.

The man groaned before filing two pieces of belt in Jaemin’s hand. Jaemin thanked the man, before pulling Jeno by his wrist to the entrance. He locked one of the belts around Jeno’s wrist, before locking his own.

“Don’t lose these, okay?” Jaemin softly patted Jeno’s cheeks, which earned a curve of the latter’s lips. Jeno crawled his hands to Jaemin’s side, to grab his hands into his before going in. It was typical of a carnival, with a plethora of useless game booth, rings of gossips, screams cutting through air and balloons reflecting off the sunlight. Jeno marveled at the sight, a grin plastered on his face, as he gripped Jaemin’s hand tighter.

Jeno pointed at one of the extreme rollercoaster rides, making Jaemin exclaim in words of encouragement. Cocking one of his eyebrows up, he looked at Jeno,

“You sure you can do that?”

“Obviously.” Jeno shook his shoulders carelessly, yet again pulling Jaemin up the wrist, the latter stumbling on his steps. Jaemin noticed the childish features carve on to Jeno’s skin, as if it were all hidden by the cocky, stand-offish stance he always took. Perhaps, it might had been the position he was bounded by, being a Cupid and that only, setting up people only to see them break off or last for it seemed their lifetime. Either way, he was lost in that particular loop of uncertainty, responsibility, following the order of his Queen, and never pausing by, to see what had been there always.

Setting up in the rollercoaster, belts tightened around their waist, and fingers tangled on the handle they held, Jaemin looked at Jeno, adoring the smile he had on his lips. The cart rumbled under their shoes, eventually trudging on the track, as Jaemin gulped at the intensity of the height they were standing upon.

“Here we go~”With the last bit of the sentence stretched into a throaty scream, they both let go of themselves. Jaemin squeezed shut his eyes, and a sudden force had knocked him in his lungs, slurping up all his air. He felt like flying, light in the sky and the screams only disintegrated into a mute. The flashes of the night they first met, the reflection of Jaemin came on the mirror as he hissed at the sudden tear he found in his clothing.

_“He, kind of, makes you wish you were gay.”_

_“Believe me, I am a cupid.”_

It was all a blur, as if you were pushed underwater, the water bubbling in your ears and choking up your throat. Jaemin could feel himself thinning into the past, his world warping to the song that played in the background, knocks on the wall and the condoms flying in the air. He couldn’t figure Jeno’s face, it was just a splurge of beige and the condoms hit the ground one by one, Jaemin could see it travelling in slow pace, detailing every flutter of the packet, every syllable of the song and every excruciating tear that had escaped his eyes.

“Jaemin.” Jeno shook Jaemin’s shoulder, jerking him back to reality. Jaemin could feel the air fill up in his lungs, as he took deep breaths to compensate for that inexplicable streaks of images. They were still wandering his mind like a broken record, as his eyes adjusted to the empty track and his fingers bind with Jeno’s, in a tight coil.

“You okay?”

When Jaemin finally looked at him, he realized he couldn’t recognize Jeno at all. The brown streaks of hair, the overly-casual appearance, the skin decreased to pale color of the glinting sun. It was unfathomable, how Jaemin couldn’t even remember how Jeno looked like, when they met for the first time.

“Hey…”Jeno prodded worriedly, to which Jaemin managed to string some answer along the words, “Y-yeah, I’m fine. Let’s get out of here.”

Jaemin stepped out of the cubicle, and as Jeno was towed out, he noticed the empty wrist of the latter’s,

“Jeno, where is your belt? The ticket thing.”

“It flew away during the ride, perhaps…The other day, I lost my ring. I am kind of a careless person. ”Jeno chuckled, but Jaemin was not amused. The throbbing pain in the folds of his forehead, seem to buzz through his whole body, as his legs seemed to give out. Shooting his arm to brace himself on Jeno’s shoulder, he laid his head on the surface of his palms. Jeno obviously bewildered, caught his waist, hoisting him down the ride station, chanting, “It’s okay.” over and over again.

Jaemin couldn’t hear a single one of the words that were escaping through Jeno’s lips, the world around him warping into arrays of hues. Jeno took Jaemin to the nearest bench, and sat him there, bending in front of him.

“Look at me…” Jeno said softly, removing the strays of hair plastered on Jaemin’s forehead, “I am going to buy you some water.” Jeno’s effluent eyes met his, and Jaemin could feel the spinning world, wheeling to a stop, finally. The vomit that formed into a knob in his throat, gulped down his organs. Jaemin was smothered by the colourful clamor of the busied, bustling population.

“I am going to go now.” Jeno said, tapping his knees twice, to catch his attention. Jaemin looked up to see the edges of Jeno’s hair scraping off gradually, of the transient colour of brown. He didn't care to speak about it, and only bobbed his head. Jeno walked away, disappearing in the crowd, and Jaemin only bent in pain that was twisting his guts inside.

The harrowing scene in which he was trapped, he couldn’t carve a way out.

There was, _indeed,_ no more time left.

Letting out a croaky moan, he managed to straighten himself, and recline against the bench. His arms were still circled around his waist as he darted his eyes around him, trying to focus on something. But it were all blobs of colour, the strange hue of the sun, and people starting to resemble like lanky insects.

But Jaemin espied a familiar figure in between them, the short hair, the lab coat hanging from her shoulder walking across his sight.

“Krystal…” He wanted to stand up, but the strong pull kept him static on the bench.

But as he snapped his head right to left, everyone of the population were adorned in lab--coats, short hair, and Jaemin could feel his heart reaching to his throat. He wanted Jeno to come back, because everything was so confusing and he wanted to go back.

Back in that car, back to the night before, because even if Jaemin didn’t want to believe it yet, there was no more _time._

“I’m back. I’m back.” Jaemin could hear the voice clear, as Jeno’s hand supported him up. Jaemin asked him in between that haze of events, the pain slowly decreasing to only a sting,

“Can you see her? Can you see Krystal?”

“Jaemin, let me get you out of here.”

“No…tell me you see her, right?” Jaemin cried, the tears endlessly flowing from the corner of his eyes. Jeno caught Jaemin by his nape, pulling him on his shoulder, as the latter sobbed, soaking the white shirt.

“You see her, right?” Jaemin said on to his shirt, and Jeno nodded once. The water bottle on Jeno's left hand, fell on to the ground, breaking away and splashing the water in the ground. Some of the droplets reached Jaemin’s lower hem of his pants, and he could feel the droplets growing in waves, touching his ankles.

When Jaemin looked up, the pain almost gone in his lower stomach, he could see the waves of sea hurling in. The roar of the furious water around coloring in Jeno’s background, the skies gray and hollow. The golden blonde curls of the hair returned, ethereal as ever, and Jaemin’s finger itched to card it in between it’s gaps.

“We don’t have much time, do we?”

Jeno’s smile was no longer he saw at the rollercoaster, the goofiness almost never there, just grievous.

“You knew it all along…” Jaemin broke up with fat tears streaking down his cheeks, his hands hooking on to Jeno’s suit, the one he wore the previous night, “You knew it all along.”

Jeno only wrapped his hands over his and pecked forward, resting his chin on Jaemin’s shoulder, muttering sorrily, “I didn’t want to lose the time we had.”

“So…you will go now…? Please don’t go.” Jaemin’s tongue was heavy, the sea only becoming inimical, as if rejecting Jaemin’s claims, “Don’t go.”

“Don’t make this hard for me. See…” Jeno pushed back Jaemin by his shoulders, he leveled his eyes, “When I am gone, you will be happy. You will not suffer the punishments I should have got. But, when I am gone…” Jeno let his arms tug Jaemin tight into his silhouette, rubbing the back of his neck with the edge of his thumb, “Remember me. I will always, always be there.”

Jaemin cried harder onto his it, the stench of the salty sea blinding his nose and the frills of the waves enclosing his ankles. In between his sniffs, he could hear the familiar hum of Jeno’s filling in the air, as he swayed his shoulders from side to side.

_“...when I am feeling blue…all I have to do…”_

Jaemin cries resided to momentary hiccups a he concentrated in the harmonious hum of Jeno singing for him.

_“...is take a look at you…then I’m not so blue…”_ Jeno then erupted into laughter, his chest vibrating against Jaemin’s cheeks.

Jeno coughed sheepishly before adding, “I’m not much of a singer.”

“You are not.” Jaemin poked his finger on Jeno’s suit, letting it hang in there for a while.

“You think I’ll be able to see you again?” Jaemin asked, with a pinch of hope coating his tone. Jeno, however, shook his head, causing the tears to fill Jaemin’s brim.

“Okay, shit-head. I’m alright now.” Jaemin said after a while, raising his head from Jeno’s suit to look at him among the wetness of his eyes. Jeno rubbed of the tears staining his cheekbones before pressing his finger on the skin. Jaemin’s pellucid eyes looked directly at him, and Jaemin could read everything he had to say. From ‘I love you’s to ‘miss you’s’ and Jaemin answered each of them with the mouthing of his lips. Tipping slightly on his toes, even though he didn’t need to, he chastely kissed Jeno’s forehead, pausing for the affection to scar his skin.

“I love you.” Jaemin said, as the hem of his pants drowned in the waves, everything in the horizon flooded in the wretched cry of the oceans and the whirls of the wind.

“I love you too.” With that, a fervid kiss was stapled on Jaemin’s lips, Jeno’s arms holding his waist, as the sea washed away the memories they had created ruthlessly. Jaemin world warped into a hypnotizing rush through the screens of time, the smothering car ride through the well-lit highway and when Jaemin looked over his shoulder, the driver's seat was empty. The light blinked off one by one, diminishing the streets as the car went on, to a cave of darkness and Jaemin couldn’t help but sleep against the leather coat of the couch, nostalgia lulling him in.

The condoms dropped on the floor, decorating the floor in glittering foils, and when Jaemin looked up from his feet, there was no one in the room. Jaemin didn’t know if he should be looking for anyone, but the tears still residing on his cheeks told him otherwise. Craning his neck he saw the blanket angled down, meeting the floor, so Jaemin walked over there and covered himself in the lost warmth of the past.

The same man chased him down the streets, as Jaemin hugged Renjun’s coat close to his body, chanting the names of someone named…

“Hey.” Jaemin could hear drumming voice of Renjun calling him out, shaking his shoulder lightly. Jaemin let out a gurgle of irksomeness from the deep edge of his voice, turning sideways to ignore the disturbing attempts of Renjun to wake him up. He didn’t even what he was doing in the brothel in the first place.

“Fuck…Wake up. It’s freaking 12 in the afternoon!” The screeches only made Jaemin squeeze his eyes shut, his hands clutching the collars of the coat tighter. It was not that he didn’t care, or he had a sudden urge to remain asleep but he just didn’t want to open his eyes.

“I am counting down to a three, two…” Jaemin opened his palms to show he was done, and he would be waking up causing Renjun to stop his haunting countdown of numbers. Believe or not, Renjun’s countdown was mortifying. One time, Jaemin decided to follow against the stern descending numbers which caused him to shower in a cup of Americano.

Jaemin flicked his eyelids open, his blurry eyes adjusting to the angry sun rays filtering through the window. Turning his body straight, he rose himself with the help of his palms and sat against the upholster of the bed.

“What is the use of wearing the blanket if you are going to sleep in my coat anyway?” Renjun bent down to throw the drawers open, rummaging through it maddeningly, “By the way, do you remember the card that bastard left?”

“You mean Kim?” Jaemin asked, the name rolling off his tongue weirdly. Clicking his tongue, he shook his head, denying that he indeed didn’t.

“Renjun, what am I doing here?” The question was circling Jaemin’s head for a while, and he had to ask to satisfy the growing curiosity surrounding the unfamiliar yet familiar room. It was as if something had changed about the room that he couldn't quite figure. Renjun looked up from his current scavenge of the drawers to look at Jaemin, with wilting sleep and frown curving his eyebrows.

“You slept here yesterday, remember?” Renjun scanned Jaemin’s unchanging expression of confusion, “What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing. I guess it’s just work.” The rustles of the paraphernalia came back, when Renjun settled with the excuse. Jaemin gripped the blanket pulling it close over his legs as he fixed his sight to the mirror on the other side.

A ring, suddenly cut his sight, with a crimson hued stone standing high on a silver band. Jaemin knitted his eyebrows close, focusing on the ring.

“Yours?” Renjun asked, as Jaemin carefully took it from the pinch of the latter’s hand. Jaemin nodded, even though he never saw the ring before.

“For the last time, I’m telling do not leave your jewellery wherever you want. There are enough things lost everyday.” Jaemin agreed with a bob of his head absentmindedly, as he slowly slipped the ring on his fingers, surprised how perfectly it fitted him.

“Found it!” Renjun shook the card in air, hopping out of the room before reappearing again,

“You want to go for a drink today?”

Jaemin diverted his focus from the ring meeting Renjun’s eyes and with a taut smile he replied,

“Sure.”


	5. epilogue: no strings attached

Jaemin swung his knees up and below, harboring the unrelated thoughts surrounding the plethora of drinks displayed in front of him. Renjun was just beside, finger nails clicking on the receipt stuck under a leather menu. Menus were often useless, Jaemin thought as he examined the leather coating, because all he wanted was an old fashioned to drive him through the day-or night.

Talk were kept unfinished, Renjun delving into his own deliberation of the next day’s work but Jaemin had no problem with that. He didn’t have enough to worry about, for what he attempted that morning.

_“Miss?”_

After what it seemed like a decent amount of missed calls, that woman finally answered Jaemin with a grunt. Jaemin grinned, the intention gradually becoming more of a reality.

_“Miss, I would like to resign. I want to try something new, and if I remember carefully…I have some work offers.”_ Yes, Jaemin did have some work offers stored, which unknowingly slipped from his mind. One of his customers had offered him an assistant position in one of the Coffee Production Company, taking pity on him after spending a night.

_“Wh-Wh-”_ The phone was cut short, abruptly as Jaemin plunged the call in his pocket after closing it off for better. Sunlight refracted from the mirror, highlighting his shirt and the ring wounded on his fingers. It was as if the ring gave him a new sense of courage, to rub off the insecurities that loaded his shoulders. Which was honestly weird, even when Jaemin thought around it a little more.

Fats forward to 7 ringing in the clock, the phone buzzing from Renjun’s phone, the name ‘Miss’ highlighted in bold white. The latter scrunched his eyebrows, confused as to why the woman would be calling him at such an odd hour.

_“Yes?_ _”_ It would be an understatement if Jaemin said Renjun wasn’t horrified of how intimidating that 60 year old woman was. There were muffled voices resounding from the speaker as Renjun held it closer to his ear, his face only wilting to a frown. Jaemin was sure, the woman was fussing about the decision he broke down in the morning before. Renjun darted his eyes from the scrunched receipt to Jaemin’s cocky tilt of his lips and mumbled off some profanities under his breath.

“You fucking resigned? Without concerning me into the decision?” Renjun said, covering the speaker with his hand. The harsh whisper only elevated into a higher tone as he spoke, but Jaemin could only shake his shoulder nonchalantly because he couldn’t muster up any excuse to explain his antics. Conceited, it might seem and frivolous even to Renjun, but really Jaemin couldn’t do anything to feed into his spontaneous decision to flee from that wretched brothel.

It was just the right time.

“I’ll take care of you later.” Renjun grumbled, stretching his lips and continuing to placate the woman on the other side, saying he would dissuade Jaemin somehow. Hearing that, made Jaemin laugh. Both of them, Renjun and their Miss, would try hard, there was no doubt about that. After all, Jaemin was their adept employee, carrying most of the profit for their brothel.

Renjun stood up from his side, taking the call outside because from the fuzzy noises he could hear, Miss was getting worked up on the other side, probably gripping her archaic flip phone and flipping through sprawled battered registers.

Jaemin heaved, taking a sip of his drink and letting the drinks tall in his tongue for a while. In a long time, Jaemin had nothing to think about, a little less worries to solve and too much drink to carry in his grip. The boisterous surrounding of the bar didn’t seem to boil down, even if the clock was narrowing towards the night. But the population only seemed to garner along the shelved drinks, the women dressed in designer items from head to toe and the men, imbibing their own glasses of scotch.

The bar had a reputation of tugging the aristocrats around the town, mostly because of its expensive imported scotch and well, self-centered other aristocrats. In short, it was a perfect camaraderie for the riches of rich which made Jaemin stand out like a sore-thumb.

The chair beside him was empty until he could listen to the squeak of the vinyl, signaling someone had hogged his left side. Turning to his side, he could catch the edges of the short hair, hands covered in silk black shirt.

“Do you mind if I sit here?” Jaemin snapped his eyes over to her face, meeting her in awe. Awe, for the fact she looked awfully familiar, with those eyes, and the hair… _the missing lab coat._

“Wh-Why would I mind? Free country, right?” Jaemin grinned, before turning away to focus on his fumbling fingers.

“Free country…” She heaved, and aired an airy chuckle, “Hey, would it be weird if I ask you…have we met before?”

Jaemin cleared his throat, and looked at her for the second time, clearer that time.

“I was about to ask you the same thing…I feel like I have met you before.” Jaemin curled his sentence, squeezing his eyebrows in the middle. The girl opposite of her imitated the same expression before bursting out laughing.

“Cool.” She said, and repeated, “Cool” for one more time.

“i guess we have seen each other around at the hospital, I am there all the time.”

“All the time?” Probably, that was because Jaemin assumed her with a lab coat.

“I cut up people for money, you know?”

“You are a surgeon?”

“Getting ready to become an expert in it. First year of residency.” She inclined her hand sideways, as if to say, “Way to go champ!”

“Don’t ever say it like that to other people, people might misunderstand that.” Jaemin said, before putting his hand on the air, to call a waiter. He ordered two drinks, one for himself and another for the girl.

“Misunderstand what?”

“Misunderstand you as a trafficker or something.”

“Look…”she said, gesturing to her petite body and height, emphasizing, “with this body and this baby face they might as well not.”

“Right.” The drinks came by then, and Jaemin pulled the Sangria by the napkin towards the girl, to which she muttered a small ‘thank you’. Jaemin took notice of how the girl wrapped her lips around the straw, sucking her drink in. The hair falling on her side, the fingers wrapped around the glass, and chandelier failing to compare to her beauty in that bar.

“You know-”

“C-Can I ask for your name?” Jaemin interrupted, his heart running to reach the end of the race, as if. His own drink was forgotten under the warm spotlights, and the ice swimming drowning in the bitter scotch.

“Might as well ask for my number.” She smiled slyly, before adding, “I’m just kidding. I’m Krystal.”

“Jaemin.”

“You know, it’s rare to find a gentleman in this economy.” Krystal said, playing with her straw, twirling it in her drink. Jaemin let out a chuckle, deliberating if he should reveal his profession or previous profession, in that case. It was not to spoil the atmosphere they had comforted themselves in, just to appear honest. Honest enough.

“I am not a gentleman. Well, as per the book definition. I used to, “ Jaemin marked the last two words in bold, “work as a prostitute. A stripper in the past, before I got to be a prostitute in a brothel.”

Krystal looked at him for a while, her hands stopped working on the drink. However, after searching his face for a while, she smiled tightly.

“Not that I care. It is a profession too, like any other.”

“Oh.”

“It is taboo, I agree but it is not that I have a say what anybody did or does in their life. It doesn’t define how you are as a person…and from what I have seen from you, you are a gentleman.”

“Thank you.”

“Given that you are not a perv, with impressive acting skills.”

Jaemin rose his hands in defense, “Swear.”

The gossips settled down to a usual exchange of snips of their daily life, with Jaemin not enclosing much rather than spending his most nights at the brothel. With a short introduction to Renjun, who was still busy in that conversation with Miss, Jaemin swerved the conservation to what Krystal had been up to, up until. Krystal, excitedly, with pompous gestures, exclaimed on about the recent engagement of her friend. Jaemin grinned, engrossed in her colloquy, as his drink emptied in the mercy of the fleeting time.

Jaemin asked for another refill, distracting him from a woman who seemed to be somewhat of a love interest. The women looked at him for a split second, the blemishes on her cheeks highlighted under the lights hung above, and Jaemin felt the familiarity washing through him. It was as if he knew her, but then again he didn’t. Weirdly, every single person he brushed through, was similar, grins and dresses. The red tiles he walked was etched in his head, like a fuzzy memory yet he couldn’t point out an exact time he visited that bar. Contrasting with his pale skin, the red ring stayed stuck to his bony fingers, and he felt inexplicable feelings buzz through his veins, catching his attention away sometimes. _Just sometimes._

The resplendent chandelier he craned his neck to look upon, glinting upon the replete population that only concentrated around the floor and then there was that name, just at the edge of his tongue he couldn’t quite roll off. It was like an enigma of a feeling, that swept through him and as if someone was watching he looked behind, only to find no one he could recognize.

Among the replete people, with a glass of champagne hanging from the tips of his fingers, he watched Jaemin under the magnification of his thick rimmed glass. Jeno, could hear everything Jaemin and Krystal were engaging themselves in, but for an exchange for the better or worse, he couldn’t hear what Jaemin was thinking.

“Can’t believe you saw that hell of a hombre naked and fucked him right up the ass.” said his Queen, who was unconcernedly enjoying herself red wine. A smug countenance worn on her, and nails ticking on the table, Jeno couldn’t figure how annoying the situation could develop into.

“Could you, for God’s sake, shut up?” Jeno said, but rolled his tongue inside as if he shouldn’t have said it.

“You are being rebellious. But it’s not like it surprises me anymore.” Shrugging, she laid her glass on the table, catching Jeno’s attention.

“Why are you here anyway?” Jeno rested his glass down as well, the clink in between their glasses echoing back to them.

“To see if you are doing your work properly and not running away with that prick anymore.”

“Long past that, under your surveillance.”

Jeno was ready to edified on what the formalities or manner he should observe, but what Queen said next was unexpected. Given that, all she had done was exhaust him through the littlest rectitude to deter him from the wrong or nefarious.

“I didn’t want to do it, Jeno. You know how it works, and despite that-” All Jeno did was discredit the work queen had done to make him an exemplary of righteousness back at their world of supernaturals.

“-you are one of my favourite assistant, if that makes sense.”

“It doesn’t.” Jeno bit the air, as he looked at her, deadpanned. She was of course, adorned in her real image, the one she showed to Jaemin the first night they met. The blond curls, the lewd depiction of a porn magazine centerpiece, she had it all in place.

“Fine, whatever. Your work, if I may put you back in place, was to put Jaemin and his soulmate together. The course was broken midway, because how Jaemin dared deride my request. Went past that and asked you to fix him up until you can resume what you were supposed to do. Which in all sense, was again, get that Jaemin and his soulmate together. But to my utter amazement, you being a vacuous creature tailed around Jaemin, because in your words, you were in love. Did I do something then? Of course not. I let you be, because I believed you would be diligent enough to follow what I have taught you. But of course, I am not only the part of this arrangement, the higher-ups are too. They were raged, Jeno. Fucking heels over head. They wanted to ban you and if they did, you would have died here. For fuck’s sake, you are freaking 1000 years old. I saved you, in fact.”

Everything the Queen argued, was to the point, euphonious and articulate. But Jeno didn’t care, to what his age was, or how he would have died. For the reason, being he fell in love, the emotions he felt which wasn’t taught during his time there nor he had a chance of feeling it earlier until he had met Jaemin. The one who sat there, talking around with his then ‘love of his life’.

“But, in all seriousness…”Jeno continued, “You could have told me that. You didn’t need to send a spawn, in that ruckus, to be under the wheels of the car Jaemin was driving.”

“Why do you think I did that? For fun? For punishment? You didn’t listen to me, Jeno.”

“I didn’t want to listen.”

“You gave Jaemin hope, Jeno. I didn’t. You made yourself believe everything would work out. I squeezed whatever time I could give you two, and let you be.”

“I understand.” Jeno felt around his pocket, and could feel the paper slip in his hand. The same paper belt Jaemin wounded around his wrist before the carnival.

“I need to go. Take care of this before you go back.” She shared a glance to Jaemin and his love interest before panning it back to Jeno, “Do give me the phone he gave you. I need to destroy any emblem you two share.”

“Right.” Jeno revealed the phone from his coat and handed it back into her hand.

“He will come around soon enough.” With a pat against his shoulder, she left, leaving no semblance of her existence.

Jeno sighed to himself, the drinks only coming to an end, as he hummed the song Jaemin memorized on the last night together. When Jaemin sensed Jeno was deep in his slumber (which he wasn’t due to the anxiety tangled with the fleeting time) he stood up, and sang to himself the chorus under the rings of the wind-chimes.

It rang in his ear explicitly, as he regretted the brevity of their love life. The cart of their rollercoaster, Jeno imagined lasted for a lifetime, their hand still warmed by their erratic heartbeat, and their ears grazed by the autumn zephyr.

Jeno hoped that Jaemin would call him once again.

**_Please remember me_ **

**_Mistakenly_ **

**Author's Note:**

> ➼this is a fanfic i worked the most hard on in a while. i am really proud to say that i had garnered such creative idea from just reading the prompt, which is very unusual. the prompt was sexy, weird and funky. it was also my first time attempting a fantasy genre, and for sure i had fun with it. whoever sent that prompt, bless you. the characters are both easily my favourite characters i have ever written, and are very close to my heart.  
> ➼ the story finishes here, unfortunately. there would be no continuation, even though i had thought about it multiple times, i couldn't go ahead with it. it is slightly cruel, i think, but it is the most sensible and genuine ending to their story.  
> ➼thanks to all who have helped me through the clogged months of exams, deadlines and one lined dialogues (my notepad, you've worked hard!). my beta reader, you are the queen and i can't wait to work with you again. mods, thank you so much.  
> ➼ thank you for reading. please tell me you've liked it because that would really make my day! which part, or words that made you laugh or cry, please tell it all, so that i can do it together with you!


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